• wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 days ago

      But not just any tape! This 3x1" hyper-engineered marvel has been rigorously tested, exhaustively reviewed, signed off by a slew of brass, lost in a logistics chokepoint, found again, shipped faster-than-thought to a facility that’s nearly spelled the same but on the wrong continent… So, this tape? This is what we pulled off the battery hatch for the coffee room’s boombox while we wait for the certified piece.

      • Doomsider@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Looks like we just found our new marketing executive for HEMtape boys! Tell us more about this tape’s military applications.

        • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 days ago

          Well, I’ll be honest with you all. This here tape’s military applications are legion! Truly grasping the array of options here, often leaves lesser men whimpering in the face of that freedom. So, you gotta ask yourself: you gonna cry about it, or are you gonna bitchslap that problem solved and roar at whatever challenger’s in the wings? Grip that roll of answers. Dole out justice. We’ll make more.