My wife of 14 years has bipolar disorder.

My experience with it as someone caring for someone with it is that, when properly managed with appropriate medications, it’s nothing we can’t handle.

Once we found meds that worked effectively, as long as she’s taking them things are fine. She understands the importance of being properly medicated, I make sure she always has the medication she needs and she takes it.

In our normal day to day I don’t think either of us think too much about it. I do know though that there are things that can trigger a manic or depressive episode. Sleep changes are a massive trigger for her, so we stick to a pretty solid routine. She can tell when it feels like she might be on the edge of a manic episode. We check in frequently when that happens, I provide support, and we get her doctors on the phone if we need to.

But in all our time together we’ve not had to go back to in patient treatment once we got our arms around it.

Good luck to you and your son. Just keep in mind that manic episodes are big and loud and people can feel a lot of shame about things they did while manic after the fact. Care, love, support and understanding are the best context to help your loved one find a path that will work for them.

A happy, full, and healthy life for your son is still more than possible.

Yea I just think too many people end up forcing a sanity check before they will answer the question and it tends to make the question askers grumpy.

I’ve just noticed that if I answer their question first and then ask them a sanity check, they will more often engage with my sanity check.

Humans are tribal animals to a great degree, and the older I get the more I just accept that. And so if someone comes and asks me a question and I know they are more likely to accept pointed questions from someone they consider part of their tribe, answering the question first is an easy way to get them to put down their guard and engage.

I think what’s interesting about the ascent of LLMs is that they show that people are hungry for something to just answer their question. So much so that they are willing to deal with getting a completely wrong answer and having to come back and go “that function you suggested doesnt exist” a half dozen times.

I also moderate a couple technical discords and there are always members of the community that want to catalog and organize questions so they never have to answer the same question twice. And I get that impulse, but the thing I realized is that question askers want help.

I made it a point to make a culture around just answering questions and those communities are thriving. We don’t tell people to go search, we don’t tell people to explain themselves. Step one is always, answer their question. Then you are free to ask them why and see if there’s a better approach, but if someone wants to reverse flat map a list, show them how, and then they will be much more receptive to you asking why.

I’ve decided the best way to deal with someone asking an XY question is the following.

1. Answer it. I don’t know what this person is doing, maybe they do really need to do some super weird thing and they are 4 weeks deep into “getting this project to work” and they don’t need me giving them the idea they also immediately thought of and can’t do for a bunch of reasons they are too exhausted to go into.
2. See if this is an XY problem.

I have found this to be infinitely more well received. I think because by answering the question upfront without any annoying back and forth about why exactly they need to OCR a pdf in JavaScript, they are much more likely to be willing to have a dialog if their immediate question has been met.

The only danger is that some noob might stop reading after the answer and not engage with the deeper design issue, but by gatekeeping the answer behind a “you must convince the council of elders that you are doing something reasonable first” all we’ve done is push those people into ChatGPTs cheery answer first even if you have to make it up hands.

Not to sound like a starry eyed idealist, but it’s both.

It sucks that it’s just a weird mandatory box, but if you don’t cheat your way through college you should better yourself in lots of ways. Learning how to independently organize tasks and time and research and challenging your preconceptions and struggling to really grasp complex ideas.

It should be all those things.

I’ve normally heard the term “bad faith” used to describe such situations.

You’ll sometimes hear about a lawyer doing this and the judge will chastise them for acting in bad faith or advancing a bad faith argument.

$100k when I checked on Friday. Not going to check again, that way madness lies.

An entire lifetime of work, living modestly, saving, funding my retirement accounts, paying a financial advisor to help me make responsible decisions.

Blown up by that orange turd.

trump literally doesn’t understand anything.

Take trade imbalances for a minute. As an contrived example, we buy $1m worth of steel from Canada, they buy $100k worth of steel from us.

There’s a $900k trade imbalance, and you can tell how trump talks about it, he thinks that means we just gave $900k to Canada for fun.

He completely ignores the part where we traded $1m for $1m worth of steel. We get the fucking steel, it has value, we know it has value because we were willing to pay for it.

But just listen to him talk about trade, he doesn’t understand that basic component of trade. He thinks a $X trade imbalance means we just give that country $X for nothing. He is the dumbest motherfucking idiot on the planet.

We will all get to be that strange old person who won’t discard an orange peel because we lived through the second Great Depression.

What’s weird is he’s the ceo of replit.

Replit’s product is a website where you can write a snippet of code and run it without having to install anything. An activity that human developers would do to test out something.

So if his prediction comes true, his product will lose all value.

I imagine people share these for 3 reasons.

1. People encounter information at different times. Sure you’ve seen the article but someone else hasn’t (although for popular topics, this likely become near zero quickly enough)
2. People want to signal to their group that they are in the group. Why do people share anything with their little opinions attached. In part it’s so that they can cement their place in their tribe. Democrats or republicans or anything else, you are supposed to be angry about the things that anger your tribe and happy about the things that please your tribe.
3. Anxiety. Our brains are sorta wired for “stress -> action -> relief” cycles. We survive because we encounter a stressor, take some action to address it, and are then relieved of that stressor. Feel hunger, eat food, feel better. The current world has many stressors that can’t be meaningfully impacted in an individual level. You can read an article about something that outrages you or highlights an injustice you believe is occurring, but then there is no action to take. So sharing becomes an effective action substitute. Did it solve anything? Nope, but your brain doesn’t care, it’s just happy you took some sort of action.

It took a lot of persistence and luck. I had found my wife a new doctor to do her medication management and I ended up just politely hounding her staff explaining calmly but firmly the catch-22 I found myself in.

The trick I’ve learned over caring for my chronically ill wife, who I love with all my heart, is to be very nice to the front line medical people but to never give up. They take crap all day from angry people, so I make it my mission to never yell at them, never get cross with them. I just explain what’s going on and my goal is always to get them on my side, be my person on the inside.

That worked here too. After calling a couple times and being nice, one person working the phone remembered me and I could tell they wanted to help. I just kept asking them for options, people like it when they can be part of solving the problem. They got in the doctors ear about this and suddenly if she did a virtual evaluation of my wife she could write a preliminary prescription to fill the gap.

Is this how things should work? No. Should you have to beg and cajole and get lucky that someone will help you? Absolutely not. But this is how I’ve figured out how to navigate this broken system.

Tl;Dr - Be very nice to office staff, be persistent, make it a problem you can solve together, keep reminding them that you are advocating for a flesh and blood human being you care about and that them just suffering will never be a good enough answer.

Also don’t get frustrated if you don’t make progress and need to call back, I think it only took calling 3 days in a row for them to figure out they better help me or they were going to have to talk to me every single day

Anyone that might be thinking this is an exaggeration, it is not.

My wife has adhd and takes vyvanse for it, a strictly controlled substance. I have to be extremely vigilant about making sure her prescription gets to the pharmacy and that the pharmacy fills it correctly.

We recently moved across country. Here’s a fun puzzle to work on.

1. You can not get more than a 30 day supply of the drug
2. Due to lack of providers, you can not get an in state prescription for more than 30 days
3. while it is perfectly legal to fill the out of state prescription, every large pharmacy that can get vyvanse has a corporate policy against filling out of state prescriptions for it
4. smaller pharmacies are willing to fill the prescription, but can’t stock the medicine.

The amount of times I had to explain this to people and just exasperatedly go “so should I just prepare my wife to go through withdrawal of this medication she has been prescribed and taking for nearly a half a decade? Is that ok with you, is that an ok patient outcome? Is that what you’d let happen to your wife”

Luckily shes married to an angry, persistent, yet very polite man who will shame the shit out of people until he gets it fixed. But I have no idea how she was supposed to navigate this alone, while facing the terror of withdrawal.

I dunno, reading the FAQ this seems like some of the least bad public private partnerships

https://potholepatrol.co.za/faq/

It’s an insurance company that doesn’t want to pay out for people damaging their cars on potholes. Seems like a rare win for everyone. Insurance company pays out less, people don’t slam into potholes damaging their cars, and I guess the insurance company gets some advertising.

There are so many dystopia things going on, but I think this one is fine.

American ruling class, “Oh would you look at that, we just found a 24.99999% price hike that we definitely have to do because economy. Still cheaper though than the Canadian and Mexican imports.”

It’s just the rest of America that is going to get fucked.

Amazing what $500B can do to change someone’s mind.

It seems like the colored area on the side of the joycon fits pretty snuggly into the recess. I’m not sure if you could put it in at any other angle than the one that would marry them up

I would imagine it’s more ChatGPT getting about as good as stackoverflow.

Couple that with the ability to ask a question without someone closing it as off topic, or a duplicate, or telling you you don’t actually need to do the thing you need to do, or bringing up the XY problem, or… well the list goes on.

ChatGPT might hallucinate sometimes but it’s nice about it and it fundamentally changes the barrier to entry to ask a question in the same way that stackoverflow once did.

Stackoverflow was a step change because it excelled at being a a great place to ask questions because they gamified people actually answering them.

ChatGPT is another step change because it makes it so you can get a similar quality answer instantly and without any of the social baggage. It also allows you to have follow-ups and get into a groove of question and answer. It’s not always right but I was pleasantly surprised using it to navigate unfamiliar libraries and apis and being able to drill down on something. Even when it got something wrong it got it right enough that I could course correct without having to argue back and forth with someone.

Yea 39 checking in, that’s the way I was taught to type in school as well. I never broke the habit and still do double spaces after a full stop.

I’d honestly be more surprised that someone could tell enough to be bothered.

Boston Market. It might try to convince you it’s upscale homemade, but it’s just kfc in another wrapper

Remember when everyone that got the COVID shot would be dead in 2 years.

These are Christian nationalists, they love death cults.

Republicans love a good scam

Next up is the dismantling of the ACA. They will roll out these amazingly cheap alternatives. Health insurance for $10 a month!

So the poor and the stupid will sign up. They’ll go to the bar and saunter up to a “libtard” and tell them that trump fixed everything.

Then when they get sick and try to use MAGA super plan plus premium they won’t be able to find a doctor. The $10/month plan only covers an annual trip to a CVS minute clinic. They’ll go on Facebook and write up how the goddamn liberals tricked him. Other faithful republicans will pray for them and tell them that it must be a glitch because trump made things better.

The con will win because it’ll only hurt those without power.