My elderly relative is already growing frustrated with her. He suggested putting her outside again.
Just went through this twice in the last year with a 17, and then a 20+ year old kittie, both well-loved companions. Those last months are the hard ones, but they need us more, not less. To cut them off from us in their waning days is to spare ourselves the pain of impending loss, all at the expense of their dignity and comfort.
Gosh if only a person in his position could appreciate the need for compassion towards the elderly.
The funny part is, she has been desperately trying to sit in his lap when I’m gone, during the day. I think he would miss her if she was out outside.
I don’t normally wish ill on people and I have a passion for geriatrics but if your relative broke a knee I think they would be better off for it. A hard lesson in compassion, vulnerability and support for the disabled is a long time coming for them. If they can’t recognize their sick pet of 15 years crying out for help and support then they deserve to feel exactly like that poor cat. Alone, afraid, and incapable
He recently hurt his back so badly that I had to help him get in and out of bed at night, and in the morning. When I was pregnant with my son, my foot broke because I fell down a ramp at work. I had to be placed in a boot and given a wheelchair because I couldn’t balance on crutches. I spent the night at his house, after that happened, and their hallway was too narrow for my wheelchair to fit. I asked for help and was told to stop complaining. I had to crawl to the toilet, down the hallway, because no one would help me. He brags about he used to intern at a hospital when he was in college. His job? Helping patients when the doctors placed them in traction with broken legs. I refuse to believe this man is my biological father. I swear he had someone else spit in an ancestry dna tube and just registered the tube to his email account.
I don’t like your relative. Providing comfortable care of elderly and end of life pets is to be expected when you adopt an animal, even if it is difficult.
The relative is being callous, AND they clearly need some help managing a cat at this point, AND the relative is probably worried about themselves becoming like their poor cat who they probably also love.
What’s so hard about extending your empathy to the person as well as the cat?
Dont do that, please. My 17 years old siamese kiki was taken away from me by renal disease 5 months ago. The last 4 months were terrible. She was blind and barely made it to the box. My mother was the worst at that time and was looking for excuses to put her down. She also refused to have multiple boxes or anything that could have made my cat’s life easier. (Sorry, im just venting, but fuck my psycopath mother, freaking loony).
I’m in peace knowing that i and my brothers did everything we could to make kiki feel loved to the last minute.
It’s possible elderly relative is projecting some negative emotions about their own situation onto cat’s. Or looking at cat & worried about themselves not being able to make it to their own bathroom too. It’s frustrating & empathy with everyone here will get you a long way 🫶
Your elderly relative is a piece of shit. Put him outside.
Edit: Also, take the cat to a vet and start thinking about end of life care for this sweet kitty and whether you want to lift a finger for your relative once he’s in a similar position.
There is value to having the conversation about “holding on for too long”. But…
But, “euthanasia vs palliative care” is a conversation that must be between you (the owner) and your vet
It’s possible that there are other, addressable reasons for being unable to make it to the litter box, and a vet visit is necessary to identify and address these issues
As well, it’s possible that it is indeed “time”. A conversation with the vet is best
and whether you want to lift a finger for your relative once he’s in a similar position.
Seconded on all counts, especially this one
Hoo boy. The number of cat people here chanting HARM THE RELATIVE is … worrisome. Starting to think cat people aren’t the best people.
Refusal to help isn’t an intent to harm. You get what you give 🤷♀️
Ehh. Granted, your response wasn’t “Put him outside instead” , which was the response of others
But refusal to help when they’re in a similar situation - that’s easily neglect. So please don’t think you came off better than others
Morality is subjective, it’s just different values ig
Wow and cat people think of ourselves as so much better & more empathetic 🙄
Maybe you should put him outside in a few years when he needs help.
If your response to this situation is to hiss “harm the human instead”, who clearly is going through something themselves, then you don’t have the empathy required to have a cat in your life.
