Ecosia on the phone

Duckduckgo on the computer.

Trump is single white female-ing Putin, I see.

I was replying to a comment on feddit about children not reading nowadays and how shite i have become at reading since I got a tablet. Then I put my phone aside and started reading a book, got distracted by my own thoughts and wanted to reach out to one of my siblings whom i worry about, grabbed my phone and now I’m here.

👏👏👏👏

I’m childless by choice, so I don’t have any lived advice. I just wanted to say that you sound like a great dad and your boy sounds like a healthy little duracell bunny! All the best to you and your little family!

From what I have observed around me, you’re currently in the hardest stretch of parenthood in terms of the physical and mental toll from not having any time to yourself, but it comes back to you gradually as the little one grows and starts to explore the world. By the time where you get most of your freedom back, you will do anything to have those early years back. The paradox of parental love <3

I’ll consider it! I want Pluto (2023) on dvd or bluray, but it is on lock on netflix and i simply refuse to subscribe to that shit. I have a soft spot for Naoki Uwasaki. He’s one of the only mangaka living today, who manages to tell stories that I like.

But yeah, i dont know how piracy deals with language and subtitle options in today’s landscape. Because I prefer to have options and I’m not sure I could get a pirated dvd version where i can switch language and/or subtitles while watching.

But thank you for the the tip, friend! I have starred your comment so i can find it if/when i look into it. 🤗❤️

In my case, i went back to physical media. Bought a blhray player and now my boyfriend and I are gradually expanding our movie library when we feel like it. Some movies and shows don’t exist on dvd/bluray, but that’s okay. I think there is something healthy about not having access to absolutely everything you want at all times. Besides, for me, there is also something satisfying in having ti get up from the couch and change discs and so on. I missed the physical aspect of watching movies and remember how much streaming services fried my fucking brain while i still used them.

It was to the point where you barely register wtf you are watching because everything on streaming services is about the next thing.

Movies werent movies on streaming services, but content and I heard people starting to refer to movies and shows as content at some point and was like “this is fucked”.

Content. Content to fill the void. Not to experience or educate, enlighten or provoke your senses and morality. Just content to distract you.

Ew.

I dont mimd piracy, but i prefer physical media. I no longer wish to follow technollgical advancements. I want to go back and stay at a place where there was some level of conscious and physical effort to watch a movie. That way you remember it better, you slow down and you appreciate the piece of art in front of you rather than seeing it as content.

My autocorrect is my nemesis. The phone I had before this one had pretty solid autocorrect, but this current one has an autocorrect that is so terrible I’m forced to correct my autocorrect constantly.

Should probably do what you do and turn it off and see what happens.

I think a better challenge would be to turn off the internet for a week and see what happens. The times I did internet detoxes, I felt completely relaxed and got a mental clarity I don’t have in my day to day life. Sadly I’m dependent on the internet for my job, so I can’t really detox like that nowadays, but I miss the feeling.

Haha, I bet! Life is a goofy frenemy, isnt it? What have you had to deal with the past decade?

Yeah, I have pretty significant pet peeve around not being believed so getting a label meant a lot to me until it didn’t. Figured that it’s not gonna change anything whether or not I have confirmation of my suspensions or not. I was never interested in meds, just wanted someone to believe me. And now I’m like: but why, though? I mean, I know why and I know it goes deep, but I don’t think it’s the right thing for my process to lean into the need for other people’s validation of my experiences and emotions. It doesn’t matter. The people who made me feel like that my whole life aren’t a part of it anymore.

Currently, I think the inability to be creative and the self isolation has a lot to do with recent events in my life that has drained me. Lost my beloved company after three years of fighting to stay afloat amidst wars and inflation and AI, sacrificing sleep, hobbies and social time, had family drama that resulted in my siblings and me cutting our parents out of our lives and was diagnosed with the pre-stages to breast cancer in June and had my breast cut off in July. I am still healing from the operation. It’s been a bit intense, ngl xD that’s why I don’t think it’s ADHD related, but still felt the meme was relatable! 🥰

It’s probably depression adjacent, yeah.

Granted, I don’t feel depressed, but I do feel incredibly exhausted after the last three years I have had, lol. I’ll spare you the trauma dump xD

I have, however, started to wonder if the ADHD suspicions my boyfriend and I have about me, are actually CPTSD symptoms instead. Found a list of 17 symptoms for CPTSD on a health organization website a month-ish ago and I scored 11, which was a bit like “okay, spicy.” One of my sibs struggles a lot with similar symptoms to me and is in therapy. The term CPTSD has been used in their context so now I’m like “kewl. Awesome. Whatever”.

While I don’t think it’s related to ADHD, I currently haven’t drawn for fun in little over a year. Used to draw everyday and it makes me so happy and relaxed when I do it. Same with writing stories. I would write daily. But I just can’t, right now. It’s like I’m entirely blocked from it.

In my case I think it’s currently related to stress/being burnt out, but yeah. Relatable.

Sounds really rough, but also relatable, friend! That thing with things just piling up year after year and you not catching a friggin break ever.

If I may play the world’s smallest violin for a sec: I had a period of 8 years - between 2015 and to 2023 - where my life finally went in the right direction for the first time ever in my life. Spent four years getting my degree and making genuinely good friends for the first time. After I graduated I teamed up with a former classmate and made a company and we had so many jobs and things were friggin awesome for another three years and then that stupid fucking war in Ukraine happened and inflation happened and no one would pay extra for our work so we went from having pretty okay incomes to struggling a tiny bit. And then 2023 happened and some changes occurred that meant I would have to work alone and work for two people by myself for a year. Didn’t get to have days off or hobbies or a social life for a year. Spent all my time and energy to keep this thing afloat alone and then when the year had passed all our clients dropped like flies because they couldn’t afford our services and had to cut their budgets, which was completely understandable. My partner came back and we limped along for awhile. Then we caught a major client who would secure us financially and the job was big so we had to say no to other smaller jobs in order to keep our autumn open. We barely got any income in the first half of 2025 because we had to prepare for the job and there was a ton of legal stuff we needed to learn about to not get screwed over. We were set to start working the first week of August or something like that and the weekend before, literally two days before we started, the company pulled out of the deal with no explanation. That killed our company because we had no jobs now. Lol. We managed, because we always do, to get a few smaller jobs to pay our company bills but we barely got any paychecks for ourselves.

Btw, I had suffered with stress since the end of 2023 and had gone from being an optimistic, social and creative person to being the opposite. When this final blow to our company happened I barely cared, tbh.

Also, meanwhile all this stuff with my company had been going on from autumn 2023 to now spring of 2026, my stupid mother also decided to destroy the family with narcissistic drama and got all of us involved in her bs so I had to basically take care of my elderly parents’ stupid divorce at some point and one of my best friends was cheated on so I had to be her support for most of 2024 while falling apart myself. In my company, we started the process of dissolving it in the beginning of this year. Meanwhile, my siblings started telling me they had cut contact with both our parents because it was revealed that they had systematically been manipulating and lying to us our whole lives, which didn’t surprise me, but what did, was the scope of the lies. Went from thinking my mother was just a bit of a narcissistic loser to genuinely wondering if she had tried to kill some pf us over the years by dripping poison in our ears to destroy our wills to live. Also, in one case, tampering with food to deliberately hurt one of my siblings who has an allergy. And then by June I was tested for breast cancer and I had the pre-stages to it and had my breast cut off entirely in July and in August, I officially “broke up” with my parents.

I dunno what the hell the future holds for me, and I don’t expect much at this point, but I always comfort myself with the knowledge that none of this shit really matters and I get to define and prioritize what matters. I have a garden that my spouse and I sow and plant all kinds of things in to help the insects. My cancer scare brought my siblings back together and we are going to hang out for the first time ever this weekend. Just the five of us. I have work still, and now that I’m back in the hamster wheel, I keep pace with the deadlines. All good stuff. I have days where I feel hopeless. I still don’t have my creative spark back and I’m still not social, but I have found a bit of optimism again and am accepting that things just take time.

I don’t know your situation, of course, but I recognize the feelings of having nonstop adversity. For three years I have had nothing but bad news. Literally, the only good thing that happened up until I got almost-cancer, was that my boyfriend and I moved out of our shitty apartment where we were surrounded by noisy and inconsiderate drunks and moved closer to the countryside and into a little house with a garden. That silly little garden has been the only bright spot in my life for months, right up until I had my breast removed and got my siblings back. Let me tell you how much this silly little garden could brighten my day in early spring when my life was a perpetual chaos and the first little spring flowers escaped the soil! Man, that was the entire reason to live! Listening to woodpeckers and owls and blackbirds singing to their mates. Wonderful. I think it’s the small things that can keep you from going mad, when you’re in the bad karma stretches of life. But yeah, I’m sure you know this. I just hope you have the option to find your little oasis of peace while you struggle your way through these hard times! End of my tiny violin.

What made it impossible to recover the lost work? I’m curious, because I’m sure you would have recovered it if you could have, so it must be pretty bad Dx sending you a digital hug. It’s not much, but I really feel for you! I cannot remotely imagine how absolutely devastated I would feel if I lost four years of work and had no way to get my money until next year 🫠 urgh. Do you have enough savings to get by until then? Sorry if I’m a bit too prodding. You don’t have to answer in case it’s too personal! 🤗🤗🤗

What’s in your way of getting a peaceful, boring life?

I don’t know man, I think I have been pretty clear all the way through, but we can agree to disagree.

You’re entirely ignoring my point. Old people who have problems with taking care of themselves are not necessarily at a point where they need to die.

I compared it to quadriplegic people because not bring able to take care of yourself isn’t a sign that you need to die. If an old person cannot take care of themselves but is otherwise okay, they still deserve care and dignity. If they get to a point where they are dying, then sure, let’s not resuscitate them, but to just leave an old person to wither in their own filth is barbaric.

I disagree. Someone who struggles with their own hygiene and eating isn’t necessarily so bad they need hospice care. Because if that is the bar, then every quadriplegic person in the world also deserves to die. That is why I reacted so strongly. You cannot say that someone should be abandoned to die if they can’t take care of their own hygiene and struggle with eating. If we are talking about someone who is borderline comatose and/or in constant pain, whose body is trying actively give up, yet is constantly bring brought back to life, then it is a problem. But an elderly person who develops a handicap due to aging and therefore needs support, shouldn’t be abandoned to die if they are otherwise doing well.

I’m sorry you and your mom went through all of that, but there is a pretty big difference between hospice care and wanting to help your elderly parents with daily chores and hygiene because they have gotten a frail.

There are many elderly people who get a home carer to help them with hygiene and daily chores who aren’t on death’s door yet and to just abandon them to a slow death in filth and loneliness is pure evil. After your explanation, I’m relieved that you probably don’t think we should just abandon all elderly people who need help. Sounds like you were just speaking from a traumatizing experience and I can’t imagine what that was like for you. But an elderly person who needs help with daily chores is not the same as a hospice patient who is kept alive to the point where it is no longer humane. Because that part I fully agree with you on!

You are a genuinely terrifying person.

I’m in Denmark and Google maps has Gulf of America in parenthesis. Lake Ontario is still just Lake Ontario, though.