I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

  • Englishgrinn@lemmy.caEnglish
    17·
    7 days ago

    Hey man. Late to the party but I feel for you.

    Listen, good friends, the lifelong ride or die types- are rarer than fucking diamonds. There are maybe two, maybe three people you meet like that in your whole life. If folks you thought were like that actually aren’t, that sucks but it’s not an indictment of you or your character. Its just the odds. Lots of people suck and go where the good times are, not where they are needed. And it doesn’t mean you can’t meet those diamond people later in life.

    Suicide is often seen as an escape because people feel trapped in the “now”. They can’t see the future ahead of them. Well, let me tell you as someone was cheated on, got divorced, had a nervous breakdown, (9 months of meds, doctors and living with my parents) and built his life back brick by brick - new people, new town, new job- you have a future. I’m closer to 40 than 30 these days, and I’m telling you the pain fades. You have a future waiting, if you can get there.

    My practical advice is limited. You’re going to feel how you feel for as long as you need to. For me, it was more the shame than the heartbreak. I felt like everyone could see my “failure” stamped on my forehead. That was bullshit, but no amount of people telling me so reduced that feeling. But it is just a feeling. Being cheated on is not a character flaw. Being abused doesn’t mean you deserved it. You’ve got to win the internal fight first - realize that feelings aren’t always reflective of reality and pull out of the tail spin. How you feel is a distortion, and it can be modulated. You’ll get there.