Examples:
- Kid’s electronic toy that we loved is broken. Instead of throwing it away, I put it in a box because “surely, I’ll find the time to fix it”
- After moving, valuables are “temporarily” in plastic bags, because I’ll buy & assemble a showcase soon enough.
None of these things ever happen. I make the planning as if I did not an attention disorder. Although I had it all my life.
Now that I’m in treatment, I would have thought that my brain works in a way I’d need to get used to. But no, it just works in the way I always assumed when I made a plan.
It’s just so strange that the planning seems to assume an intact prefrontal cortex, rather than adjusting to how it actually works.
I always write myself a list of things to do in a day that’s so long I’d never get all of them done in a year. Yet the next time I make my to do list it’s just as long.
I’m trying to switch to making a “brain dump” list and then pick 3 things from there as my “to do.” It’s really hard to stick to my limit of 3. And if I get one done to I find I want to add a new thing so items 3 again, but that defeats the purpose of the limit.
I recurring problem is that I keep thinking “It’s just 3 things, plus that other one that happens on the way to #2 anyway, no need to write a list”. Then I keep wondering why I fall behind.
Only when I make a list, I realise how much there is to do, and that my plan is entirely impossible for one day!
On the other hand, it’s surprising how even the biggest “backlog” melts away like snow when I really do one backlog thing per day. In addition to “the dailies”, of course.
In my opinion, that’s a massive important step to realize. While it is possible to develop coping skills and alternate tactics, people with amputated legs don’t go “tomorrow morning I’m going to just push harder and do those jumping jacks!” but very very often I found myself doing the equivalent with ADHD.
I have 2 whiteboards at my house: 1 for groceries, 1 for tasks. You might find, like I do, that writing the things you want to do in a visible place helps you actually do them. It’s not fool-proof, but it keeps me from completely forgetting about their existence.
Yes, essential. I like to do it in an electronic mindmap, so in order to have it always visible, I needed to attach an extra screen where it’s always visible.
“Mental effort” to get on the task that needs to be done is a different matter. I still needed to push through the pain to star. That got much better with treatment.
Like the whiteboard though; not as easy to shift things around and make changes, but advantages might outweigh that.
In my experience, ADHD meds make it easier to stay in task rather than getting distracted, but they don’t make it any easier for me to actually start tasks!
Absolutely same! Executive dysfunction is my biggest problem: starting things, making decisions and taking initiatives.
Wow, so different for everybody! For me, it went from the feeling of giving myself a cigarette burn to “eager to start”.
Absolutely. Part of it for me is that there’s a horrible realist grief if I face facts, admitting to myself how little I am likely to achieve is a downer and part of me would rather live in the fantasy of optimism.
But I’m in the middle of a huge project of building a home, and for the next few years will not have any time for those extra little tasks I used to imagine I’d easily do some evening. So now I have to confront the choice - is this more important than the other tasks on my list? If not, is there a easy temporary solution that will be OK for a while? Or is this something for the far future when my life is completely different? If so I pack it up and put it in the attic.
So maybe it’s fine that your valuables are packed away, because it doesn’t really matter if they’re on display, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Or maybe putting some of them out temporarily on a bookshelf would be a compromise. Or maybe giving yourself the internal deadline of “I’ll move these to the basement this weekend since I’m never getting round to the display case dream” will be the push your adhd brain needs to suddenly feel like it’s actually super important and you’ll find yourself hyper-fixated and driving to a late night store to buy your showcase…
Visual cues and reminders are imperative for me. And I need to be reminded over and over. And with some things, I need to KNOW that the reminder will keep popping up until I take care of the thing.
Also, starting new tasks that involve things I either haven’t done for a long time, or have never done before are EXTREMELY difficult for me. I haven’t figured this one out yet, but I am toalla planning on going over this with my therapist in my next session (Which of course I was certain to plan with him last time, in the certainty that I would forget if I did not.)
Also you have to force yourself to accept that good enough is almost always going to be superior to perfect, because perfect means it’s never getting done.
It’s the same with everything, really. You’ll just have to add “oh but I’ll just leave it for later but that day will never come…” to the end of your thoughts and you’ll become more successful at not unnecessarily hoarding, lol. I’ve had to add and change several of my thoughts in order to work in society without feeling like a danger to myself and others!
Well, overall, I’m glad about the hoarding, because on treatment, I actually work through that 4 year stack of put off tasks, and it’s very satisfying.
