Im male born, but i dont feel particularly “male” so to speak: currently im non-binary bc i dont feel i belong to gender categories. Its just like im mentally in a gender-limbo and i think ive been in it my whole life, but its not concrete, as in sometimes i wish i was a girl (this happened also when i was a kid) but at the same time i feel like the categories of binary gender arent fit for me. Im just confused as in what i am. From the outside i think im generally seen as male but inside it’s kinda like i don’t care but i don’t like to be in the gender binary but i wish i was more “girly”. Can anyone relate?
Yup. I spent a lot of time as a kid standing in front of the mirror wearing a towel pretending it was long beautiful hair
Grew up in an era before the idea of nonbinary was even spoken
Decades past puberty before I even realized I didn’t have to consider myself male, way too late to do anything about it
People I used to call friends were disturbed by my lack of masculinity my entire life
90% of the time I just want someone to hold me while I cry and that hasn’t happened since I was a child
Gotta be strong, gotta be the breadwinner, can’t be vulnerable, can’t be empathic or concerned with the wellbeing of others
So now I’m just a sad old man that never really enjoyed sex with anyone and never felt part of the ‘guy crowd’ that maybe shouldn’t have been a man to begin with.
Just to put the cherry on it: I was built 6 foot and solid, zero external feminine traits