now, i don’t know if it’s such a big deal, i’m (a trans man) just getting it “off my chest” (that’s why i posted here). i love my boyfriend, but sometimes i wish he talked more to me. i understand, though. he’s been struggling with mental health, but even when he says he’s happy, he barely has any time for me because he’s playing video games. he didn’t even want to put the game down to say hi to me or text me because he thought it was annoying to do so, so i told him i’d let him play the game. i understand he plays games when he’s bored or to cope with his life and depression, but he barely talks to me because that’s how much he loves video games. we talk a few times per day and he says stuff like that"hi, i love you" “you’re so handsome” but other than that, not really anything.
please be respectful, i don’t need a rant on how much i suck as a bf, i’m really trying to figure out what to do to help.
i reposted this to mental health because it’s kind of about his mental health struggles.
Maybe he would play co-op games with you? Unfortunately, this is sort of a problem that you can’t really help with (not concretely). If he’s not willing to pause the game and hang out with you, you won’t be able to change that; he needs to want to change and right now it seems he doesn’t want that or is otherwise overwhelmed by or resigned to whatever’s going on.
As someone who also struggles with video game binges that often last 8-24 hours, has he ever considered he might have ADHD? I have it (inattentive type) and depression and what little you’ve mentioned reminds me of myself.
Even if he doesn’t have ADHD and is just avoiding dealing with other issues, looking into some strategies for staying present and managing unpleasant thoughts from an ADHD perspective might help if his main way to cope is distraction. I would also encourage him to see a therapist if he can afford it, but that’s a huge step for some and it might take a bit to get comfy with the idea.
he says he’s not neurodivergent, we could try co-op games. i recommended minecraft, which he likes, but he never wants to play or play with me.
Yeah, I thought I didn’t have it, either. Then my therapist did a quick informal questionnaire and I scored so high that I couldn’t really deny that I should get tested. Just food for thought.
Thank you so much, I’ll definitely talk to him about it