now, i don’t know if it’s such a big deal, i’m (a trans man) just getting it “off my chest” (that’s why i posted here). i love my boyfriend, but sometimes i wish he talked more to me. i understand, though. he’s been struggling with mental health, but even when he says he’s happy, he barely has any time for me because he’s playing video games. he didn’t even want to put the game down to say hi to me or text me because he thought it was annoying to do so, so i told him i’d let him play the game. i understand he plays games when he’s bored or to cope with his life and depression, but he barely talks to me because that’s how much he loves video games. we talk a few times per day and he says stuff like that"hi, i love you" “you’re so handsome” but other than that, not really anything.
please be respectful, i don’t need a rant on how much i suck as a bf, i’m really trying to figure out what to do to help.
i reposted this to mental health because it’s kind of about his mental health struggles.
You aren’t alone. My relationship is very similar but we are wlw. I still love her but I know I certainly need more in the relationship department because her chronic pain and mh means she ends up gaming all day when I stopped being as much of a gamer years ago. I will sometimes just ask her to do mundane tasks on my computer for me so I feel like we are doing something together. I have a really active social life but she has a couple of friends she socialises with every so often.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while so I thought adding my two cents from a similar position might help. I think being poly might be the right answer for me and taking over the room of another housemate when they leave.
I feel really fulfilled by my friends but I feel lonely in my relationship. I suppose that the difference is that it feels like some of will do cute little things to help me without being asked when my gf feels like she needs prompting to do anything more than look up from her screen and tell me she loves me.
I’m disabled myself and elements of my disability frustrate her too but she says that she is upset with the disability and not me and I feel the same towards her. I know that if she would pay enough attention to the real world that she would remember how much pain she is in, but I can’t stop myself feeling lonely despite that.
I don’t want to feel like I’m butting in on your post with this, I thought being upfront about it might make you feel a little less alone like your post did for me. :)
I was an addict in my 20s and I was such a bad partner it cost me my engagement. Playing MMOs was my highest priority, friends and lovers were an annoyance. I couldn’t grow up until years later when having personal realization about how I was projecting my desire to learn and achieve things in real life onto a game where achievement and progress is spoon-fed to you and requires no risk or effort from the player. Anyway, I think if a person is demonstrating with their actions that video games are more important to them than you are; you should listen. As painful as that may be in the short term.
thank you, ur not butting in, i now don’t feel alone. tysm :D