cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5550838
For example, this week I spent 6 hours helping a friend fix their roof & 0 fixing the leak in my roof. Most of the meals that I cooked were when I had company or going to a potluck. It takes me until the umpteenth ‘let me just squish it down’ and the flies start buzzing to take the trash out…
…It feels like if I were a stranger, I would take better care of myself than I do, if that makes sense?
In general, I feel like I am a very values- and care-driven person. Like what feels meaningful is taking care of my community and working towards the world I want to live in. I have a good reputation in my community & activist circles for consistent work and following through on what I commit to do…
…none of that seems to apply to myself! My dishes sit in the sink for days, and I usually only bathe in preparation for public events.
This will not do! How do I treat myself like I treat others? Ahhhh!
personally, i find it hard to care for myself when i’m not being cared for from others. not that i need someone all the time (very used to the solitude atp); it just makes me feel like “what’s the point?”, like the tree in the forest thing, why does it matter if i’m in shape or taking care of my hygiene or improving as a person if no one is there to even notice or acknowledge it?
i used to believe in the “do it for yourself” mentality but that’s the same mentality that led to me being completely isolated. these days i’ve built enough resilience to continue healthy habits and take care of myself more than i used to, mainly out of spite, and i try to consider my life experience and body/mind/soul just part of my life ‘experiment’ that i’ll see through to the end just so i can have a good laugh about it before it’s all over.