This dichotomy has rattled my life for a long time. As a teen, everyone pushed me to pick a career to have for the rest of my life. Wanting novelty, the idea of sticking to one thing (that I’m expected to decide as a teenager) forever and ever was so stress-inducing that I dissociated for weeks. I barely ate, I barely talked.

People would suggest all sorts of ideas, including jobs where you experience different events. Like being a medical professional, or doing a job that requires traveling. Even those ideas didn’t sit well with me for various reasons (like not wanting to be the sole person in charge of another person’s life or death, and not wanting to have to live somewhere new every few days/weeks/months.)

A bumpy ride through adulthood has brought me far. I have a job now that works with my natural skills and interests (teaching autistic children) and I found it’s extremely fulfilling. I have the routine I need, but I also get to use my imagination every day to help kids in my neurotribe learn skills that I had to learn the hard way. Each day is both the same and different, and since I know where these kids are coming from, it’s easier for me to connect with them (versus my neurotypical coworkers.) I’m glad to say I was able to grow into the kind of adult that I desperately needed as a child, and now it’s my turn to pay it forward.