From the way you’ve spoken so far, it seems to me there’s still some misunderstanding or miscommunication.
The more optimistic take is that we use the word “men” differently. You use it to mean “problematic men” where I use it to just mean “men”. You don’t mean all men, but you don’t communicate that effectively. If you’re the type to roll your eyes when someone complains that “not all men”, those sorts of people are ALWAYS hypocrites because I guarantee they won’t want the same nuanced understanding if someone said “dead women can’t <problematic thing>” or if something similar was said about a minority instead of women. Only when it’s about men is this level of nuance and subtle understanding required. Be more specific and don’t shit on the people you don’t intend to shit on. Don’t expect them to know your intent when it doesn’t align with your actual words.
The pessimistic take is that you think it’s true to some extent of all men, so all men deserve it to some extent. It’s similar to the male incel who thinks all women are gold digging bitches and whores, but once again, the people who think it’s true of all men would be absolutely appalled to hear a man say something is universally problematic about women. It’s sexist, it’s untrue, and it alienates people who want to help.
I don’t think it’s a an inherent trait or anything. Just that men can be problematic in two ways either they do or say <bad thing> or they don’t stand up to refute/challenge when other men do or say <bad thing>. If they aren’t either of those then that’s good then.
I’m not interested in talking about other groups at the moment as this is only about men, please stay on the subject, if you intended to compare or contrast that isn’t helpful and is just a distraction.
Ultimately what I want is for men to work on themselves and each other without either blaming other groups of people, or requiring other groups to sort out their problems for them, and for them to stop harming others. Yes I don’t think that this should stop other groups or individuals from those groups caring or helping if they want to but it shouldn’t be an expectation.
From the way you’ve spoken so far, it seems to me there’s still some misunderstanding or miscommunication.
The more optimistic take is that we use the word “men” differently. You use it to mean “problematic men” where I use it to just mean “men”. You don’t mean all men, but you don’t communicate that effectively. If you’re the type to roll your eyes when someone complains that “not all men”, those sorts of people are ALWAYS hypocrites because I guarantee they won’t want the same nuanced understanding if someone said “dead women can’t <problematic thing>” or if something similar was said about a minority instead of women. Only when it’s about men is this level of nuance and subtle understanding required. Be more specific and don’t shit on the people you don’t intend to shit on. Don’t expect them to know your intent when it doesn’t align with your actual words.
The pessimistic take is that you think it’s true to some extent of all men, so all men deserve it to some extent. It’s similar to the male incel who thinks all women are gold digging bitches and whores, but once again, the people who think it’s true of all men would be absolutely appalled to hear a man say something is universally problematic about women. It’s sexist, it’s untrue, and it alienates people who want to help.
I don’t think it’s a an inherent trait or anything. Just that men can be problematic in two ways either they do or say <bad thing> or they don’t stand up to refute/challenge when other men do or say <bad thing>. If they aren’t either of those then that’s good then.
I’m not interested in talking about other groups at the moment as this is only about men, please stay on the subject, if you intended to compare or contrast that isn’t helpful and is just a distraction.
Ultimately what I want is for men to work on themselves and each other without either blaming other groups of people, or requiring other groups to sort out their problems for them, and for them to stop harming others. Yes I don’t think that this should stop other groups or individuals from those groups caring or helping if they want to but it shouldn’t be an expectation.
Hope this clears that up.