Your argument collapses once you consider spaghetti.

Left alone, spaghetti just lies there, limp and purposeless. Only through firm, boiling authority does it reach al dente perfection. Scientists, like noodles, sometimes need that structured heat to avoid sticking together in chaos. Maybe the government isn’t crushing freedom but just straining out the excess sauce of indecision.

After all, nobody eats raw noodles in a democracy of boiling water.