What’s your take? Would you take seriously dating a single parent or would you do it just for temporal fun? Should people with kids date just people with kids?
What’s your take? Would you take seriously dating a single parent or would you do it just for temporal fun? Should people with kids date just people with kids?
I completely get where you’re coming from. Many of the things you post as drawbacks are things I experienced. But this quote, I had to comment on.
This is just a facet of life. You are always going to find yourself thrust into situations you’d rather not be in. Kids definitely contribute to that, but so does having a job, a partner, or just going out into the world.
Last week, I found myself in line at an amusement park in front of a couple of young men who were — swear to fucking god — discussing a tier-list of races. In front of me was a very nice Indian father with his son whom I’d been talking to. And there I am, an old white guy looking like a fucking F-tier asshole by association. I didn’t choose to be in that situation, but I had to deal with it anyway. Yeah, my kid was there, and that informed how I handled it, but it could’ve easily happened without her there.
I’m just saying, avoiding kids saves you only a small measure of dealing with shit that you never asked for. And also christ I have needed to share that for a week because I can’t get it out of my mind, so thank you.
That being said, I understand where you’re coming from. A situation where one parent only tolerates the kids for the sake of the other is bad for everyone, and by understanding yourself you are making good decisions here for yourself and potentially others.
The point of the matter was, is that I knew I never wanted kids and I knew I never wanted to be a part of any custody-drama or interacting with the other parents or what have you. Yet, I was in one because I don’t know why and I completely disregarded whatever reason as to why since it was a long time ago, about 13 years ago. I guess I was trying to be flexible because most of my life, I’ve always had people tell me “well you can’t judge so and such unless you’ve tried it”. Well guess what? I tried dating a single parent, so they can eat shit, because it didn’t work out for me.
9 times out of 10, I’ve always had a choice to avoid kids and I continue to do so. Moreso ever after that shitty experience that long ago. That one singular point out of that score of 10, is accounting for when I’m at work and I can’t avoid them. So I didn’t really need a ‘lesson’ about what I said, in fact I found it pretty disrespectful because it is putting someone’s words in their mouth, even metaphorically. Especially when it’s a low-hanging fruit one that everyone largely knows about.
I’ve already learned that lesson and I’m basically saying - never fucking again. If it can be helped and it most certainly will be given how things in my life are going - never fucking again.
I get what you’re saying, and if that’s your perspective then, absolutely, dating someone with kids isn’t something you shouldn’t be doing. But you did ask for it when you dated someone with kids. Not saying your perspective is wrong, but the wording might be.
I’ve been in plenty of situations I don’t want to be in again where I didn’t know I’d feel that way before I was. Some learning experiences aren’t as pleasant as others.
Hey, I apologize if I made you feel like you needed to defend yourself. That wasn’t intended as an argument or refutation. I just wanted to unpack one little sentence and provide a perspective on it. You know yourself and it sounds like you’re making the right call for you.