Marked NSFW as I’m gonna be talking about being horny and genitals and stuff!

I’ve been wondering about this one for a little while now. I suppose I’m looking for… Idk… Acknowledgement? Someone to go “Yep you’re some flavor of %s.” at me?

Honestly I don’t really like “microlabels”. Don’t get me wrong, they can be useful! But they can also be kinda niche. Language relies on people knowing what words mean, and when the other party doesn’t know what a word means the process of language stalls.

Personally I’m more into using “umbrella labels” and then having a brief phrase/description to describe how you are. For me labels are for quickly telling someone what I am, not my identity.

Anyway I’m probably still some level of aromantic. Now much like autism and ADHD, asexuality and aromanticism usually “feeds into each other”. They very often show up together and are somewhat interlinked. This is one of the reasons.

Now to preface: I like women. Women pretty! I very much do feel lust, and I enjoy it.

The other reason is that: The concept of genital based sex doesn’t really appeal to me? It doesn’t gross me out either.

The concept of sticking my dick into another woman doesn’t do anything for me. I might enjoy being penetrated?

But then again I enjoy shoving a tube up my ass and pumping air into my intestines, so honestly it’s difficult to tell! (Yeah that NSFW flag is absolutely earned.)

Anything that involves stuff like licking genitals or putting them in one’s mouth triggers the disgust mechanism in my brain. That shit is nasty!

Also I don’t like vagina.

Perhaps I’m just a “side”. I could very well be one of those but…

Well I’m only occasionally aroused by genitals.

My kinks though? Those work! Those always work, and they hold priority over other forms of lust I have.

This is why I’m asking. I’m very much kink driven, not… Well I guess you would call it “sex driven” wouldn’t you?

Edit: I forgot to mention this, but I very much like the idea of cuddling!

Especially the idea of her using me like some sort of “living plushie” where she can touch and squeeze me where ever she wants for her own pleasure, especially my dick.

(Blushes in arousal.)

So… Yeah.

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    1 month ago

    Can I talk about myself to try and relate to you? I don’t have anything insightful to say but I’d like to talk to you about the subject.

    of course, WDYMP, you're so chill and cool (just kidding, it ended up being a rant); thanks for asking

    I often times wish I were ace. I feel weak to sex. Like I can know it’s not a particularly good idea, but if I have a prospective partner who’s interested I can’t fucking help myself. At some level all relationships are FAFO, right? To me it’s a miracle that anyone gets along with anyone else. So it becomes this moment of “look, I stumbled into this rare, special thing that feels good, I wonder if they will also honor it with the reverence it deserves.” And of course they don’t. Why would they? For the grand majority of people that talk to me like that, romance and sex are something so meaningless or unimportant that it’s not even worth presenting oneself as interested in knowing me.

    I wish it were meaningless and unimportant to me too! Rather, I wish I didn’t want to interact with them at all. I wish I could focus instead of getting horny. So saying I’m ace feels like saying I’m straight if I were to constantly seek out sexual interactions of people of my same gender. It just feels like it doesn’t describe the situation very accurately or communicate anything meaningful. A gay person might wish to be straight but that’s more trivia than predictive to who they’re going to get with.

    Like I don’t know if I’m aro or if all the relationships I’ve been in have been with losers. Like maybe I’m the loser because I believe people can talk about things, contribute to discussions with more than receiving information, and ultimately communicate back anything besides verdicts about things they didn’t talk about when I asked. Maybe I’m a secret fucking genius because I behave as more than a glorified relationship compiler. If the focus is on things that work or are cool, then I excel. If the focus is on any kind of prolonged caring about someone I’m dead in the water because they just get bored. Like there’s some consistent unspeakable horror that comes from intimacy with me.

    I aspire to one day be asked a follow up question IRL. It’s a bit of a hyperbole, but a couple years ago I was on a first date with someone who I naively shared some pages of my writing with. They asked me a question about it showing that they at least opened the file and read a page or two. Though they didn’t want a second date, I think about that moment more than some people I have been in a relationship with.