Well this is the crossover I didn’t know we needed. Daisy trying to be wholesome, and Peach having evil murderous intentions. And how could she not? Her heart is for some reason Krang, from TNMT! Which is a very strange crossover, but it kinda works. Watch out for the new Peach game, where she STABS EVERYBODY IN A PSYCHOTIC RAGE!!!

And who could blame her? The woman has been through a LOT. Constantly being kidnapped. Watching from a jail cell as her kingdom is plagued by weekly military invasions from her oppressor. And then there’s the fat sweaty plumber who always smells like shit trying to bang you. I mean, yes, he does risk his life on a weekly basis, dodging bombs, and lasor beams, and ghosts, and whatever else. But still…ew. So you bake him a cake, and kiss his nose with a quick nonromantic peck on the cheek, or the nose for the hundredth time, HOPING he’ll get the hint. Princesses don’t fuck peasants.

ITT, 42 people upvote the comic, 5 downvote it, but the comments all make it seem like unwanted spam.

I call it “the cartwheel test”.

Basically if you can do 50 cartwheels, and haven’t passed anything useful yet, it’s not a walkable city.

Maybe a school. Maybe a CVS/Walgreens. Maybe a laundromat. Maybe a movie theater. Maybe a tax place. Maybe a seniors center. Maybe a daycare.

Just anything that SOMEONE is going to find useful.

Unclear if you’re saying you want to buy one from OP, at profit for them, or if you’re saying you want to eat 3X the serving size.

I work at an airport, and this is making me ugly laugh at Gate C-17. Which is far away from TSA, but they might still hear me.

“Guys…this one is the united states. We can accidently bomb all the childrens daycares and hospitals all we want, but this one??? Tripple check your work to make sure you DON’T bomb this one.”

Putin probably.

Airport worker here. Yes. I agree.

Plot twist. You told him you used to sneak some extra halloween candy in the mornings as a kid before your mom woke up. It was years prior, but you swore him to secrecy. And the doctor respects the oath.

Oh man. I knew they hid in underground bunkers, but I didn’t realize families were seperated. I thought the families would go down together.

When I was growing up, there was a super hero named underdog. Now, I haven’t seen any reboots, or anything like that. So for anyone who’s never seen underdog, imagine one of those kids cartoons where animals are people. Dogs walking just on their back legs. That sort of thing.

Well underdog is a regular timid guy, who just seems like an accountant.

And then some danger happens, and he runs into a phone booth, superman style, and comes out as underdog.

Basically, imagine millhouse from the simpsons as a superhero.

…fud?

But Brawndo has the electrolites that plants crave!

Just in case the joke is too far of a stretch to make the connection, what I’m saying is the obvious simple solution isn’t profitable.

They’d rather sell you a solution that doesn’t actually work, then give you a solution that works that they can’t make profit on.

Oh boy. Have I got a treat for you

I have no idea. I was probably 5, and had birthday money.

“Ok, this is just a bit of oxygen. Hey, what’s your bank account number?” Mwa ha ha ha! You’ll remember NOTHING!!!

You hear that people? Go set up a camera and show us your genitals! But also, be hot. Or at least interesting. Maybe learn to juggle as you give a blowjob. That’d be fun to watch! If you can do that, the world needs to see it. So why not put it on Lemmy? For the Fediverse!!!

God dammit. That explains a lot! Ok guys! Stop producing cheese! It’s our only hope!

Actually, I think it’s cheese.

And you’re almost done with 11th grade!