GIS? What is that? Gooning is sexy?

Soley? No. Huge part of it? Absolutely.

GPS can go offline. If you’re handy enough to navigate from the stars, I trust that method much more than a gps service.

Just now catching onto that? Well let me make your day by saving you money with Honey!

(Don’t actually download Honey. It’s just a tracking service)

…do people not like mint chocolate chip?

I mean, it’s not my number one, but I DO like it.

Funnily enough, hardcore liquor doesn’t seem to affect them much.

I was 21, and poured myself a shot of Bacardi 151. This is a liquor so strong they stopped making it because people were going to the hospital. Jack Danials whisky is 80 proof. Bacardi 151 is 151 proof. So just barely shy of being twice as strong as Jack Danials.

Anyways, I pour myself a shot, and don’t drink it. I get up, go to the kitchen to see if I still have any gatoraide left.

I come back with 2 bottles, and my shot is gone. I’m like “…I know I didn’t drink it…” and I was failing to think of a reasonable explaination for what just happened. Then I see my cat looking at the end of the table looking guilty. I was like “OH GOD NO!!!”

But it was 4am. There are no vets open at 4am.

I was like “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. Even if a vet were open, I’m waaaay too drunk to drive right now. You better just stay alive, you sneaky little shit. Oh…I don’t mean that. I don’t want that to be the last thing I say to you. Come here, let me hug you.”

And she vomited all over me. And I said “Hopefully thats good. C’mon, lets go feed you some more food so you can vomit more.”

She wouldn’t eat. I stayed up until 7am, called the taxi place (because this story was in 2003 before uber), and told them I needed an emergancy taxi. And explained why.

The vet saw her, and said one shot of alcohol wasn’t enough to kill a cat. I explained how strong this stuff was, but he said she wouldn’t die.

She did however hate all noise for the next day, and prefered darkness. And then I realized “oh my god, my cat is legitimately hung over…”

The day after that she was fine. And I never left open alcohol near her ever again. Not even beer.

Just a year? C’mooooon. Permanent!!!

Am I the only one who thought she was just into tying guys up?

Now Microsoft…what did we learn today?

So, did you not read the full comment that you’re responding to?You know, the one where I made fun of americans not having the self awareness to know the country is a piece of shit, and then realized it midway through, and then gave up on defending the country, and switched to defending milk cartons instead?

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as “waddling”. Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I’m in my head thinking “HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!”

And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven’t punched anyone in a really long time, so that’s close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn’t have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you’re buying, and where it is. But then these types just…exist.

So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you’re going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you’ll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that’s the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that’s a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

I really like cheese.

But also, I’m not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don’t notice these things. I’m always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn’t realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that’s how I found out.

Or option B.

Which is to punch them in the face. Which does tend to be effective, but also carries legal risk.

Hi, american here! Ha ha ha! I laugh at your silly milk arguements! Clearly milk is meant to be in a hard carton with a screw on top.

realises I’m telling other countries how to do things

…

remembers what america looks like right now

…dammit! I miss the 90s when my country wasn’t a dumpster fire! I’m fine with clinton getting a blowjob from a consenting adult. I’m not fine with pedophiles and fascism.

Have your milk however you want. Just don’t use the metric system.

Hi, welcome! Sooooo, maybe this is new info. Maybe this you already know. Either way, as a Lemmy newbie, allow me to fill you in on some lingo and details around here.

So, subreddits are called communities, but it’s the same thing.

What’s not the same is the core functionality. Lemmy has potentially an infinate amount of servers. I say potentially because you can start your own Lemmy server right now.

These servers are called “instances”. It’s just a server where you can host your own lemmy account, or your own communities.

So, you can do whatever you want on your instance. You can tell all your friends to join your instance. I could sign up for an account and be hosted by your instance.

Now I’m not saying you need to do that, or even that you should do that. I’m just saying you can. It’s possible.

Now, let’s talk federation.

Think of each instance as a circle. Now imagine a line connecting two circles. That connection between the two circles means they are “federated”, or connected. You as a user on an instance can interact with all other federated instances. This is why you’ll see topics on lemmy.world and users hosted lemmy.ml.

Lemmy.world and Lemmy.ml are two different instances, but they are federated. So Lemmy.ml users can interact with Lemmy.world communities/topics/users.

Your instance is ani.social. I’m not firmiliar with which instances you’re federated with. Clearly federated with Lemmy.World.

But imagine you found a problematic instance. Like what if you found somethink like nazis.online for an instance. You might want to cut ties with them.

So now imagine that line between ani.social and nazis.online is cut. You don’t want to talk to nazis, and neither does anyone on your instance. So ani.social defederates from nazis.online, and now the nazis can’t see, nor interact with you, or any communities on your instance.

However, user@nazis.online can still ineract with Lemmy.ml, and ani.social can still interact with lemmy.ml. So you still may see users on other instances that you’re both federated with. In that case, you can block user@nazis.online.

And Lemmy.World, and Lemmy.ml are both Lemmy. But you may see users from an instance called piefed. What is piefed? Well it’s a totally different service, with its own instances, with its own communities, run by different people that can still federate with Lemmy and other instances within the fediverse. But how is this possible?

Well, the fediverse is all services that use something called activitypub. Now, I’m a bit out my own element in knowing the finer details, but the over simplified version is that if a service uses activitypub, it CAN be part of the fediverse. I say “can” because I’ve been told that bluesky does run activitypub, but they choose to limit their own federation to just bsky.app. Meaning there are no other bluesky instances, and no other service is federated with bluesky, even though they totally could federate with mastodon.

Bluesky is almost a 1:1 carbon copy of pre-musk twitter. Mastodon is more pre-musk twitter inspired, but also fully part of the fediverse.

Bluesky has limited interaction with mastodon. I’ve never tried it, despite having both a bluesky and mastodon account. I’ve heard you need to bridge the accounts, and it’s a whole thing. So I never bothered. I hear it’s clumsy, and not worth it.

And there’s a whole bunch of fediverse services.

Lemmy/piefed are like reddit.

Peertube is like youtube.

Loops is like tiktok.

Pixelfed is like instagram.

Friendica is like facebook.

And when I say all this, there’s one giant elephant in the room we haven’t addressed yet. Corporate interests.

Lets say you’re still on X for some god awful reason. Well, you probably notice that they push their own agenda on you. They make money by getting you to follow the agenda. On the fediverse, there are no owners.

Like I said earlier, you can run your own instance. If Sony wanted to advertise on Lemmy, it would be damn near impossible. Because they could advertise on Lemmy.World, but only Lemmy.World users would see the ad. Because when you interact with Lemmy.World, you personally are not on Lemmy.World. You’re on Lemmy.World via Ani.social. So you’re actually browsing all this from Ani.Social. You never actually leave there. And if you try to go directly to Lemmy.World, you’ll find you’re not logged in. Because they have no login credentials for you. But if you go back to Ani.Social, you’ll find things just as you left them. Still able to interact with Lemmy.World but still technically browsing Lemmy.World via Ani.Social.

I know thats a lot to throw at a newbie, but I promise it’s only complicated in the begining. Once you get it, it’s like second nature.

One last thing, despite being called the “fediverse”, there’s no need to worry. It has nothing to do with Kevin Federline.

Now we play the game of “did they grow up to be nazis?”

The kid on the far left did for sure. Look at that evil face.

1000 guesses and I would never have pieced that together.

I’m fairly sure the person you’re replying to is referencing the last time McDonalds tried this.

A man with a dash cam tried ordering a big mac meal large with a coke, no ice.

The AI system instead tried charging him for 83 dasani water bottles.

When he tried to cancel the order, the AI confirmed his order.

He wasn’t trying to prank anyone. The dash cam was for accident protection when drivers try to brake check you, and then say you hit them.

The dashcam recorded everything, and he just hit “save past 20 minutes”. Then later edited it down. This was in 2024.

Oh…oh you must be new here. And by “here” I mean Earth.

Oh my god! Everything about this video is pure chaos at it’s finest.

To be fair…most of the general population are indeed suckers.