I never saw my parents together so for embarrassingly long I believed they didn’t know each other at all.

I was a flower girl in my father’s wedding at the age of 7. Bet his missis wasn’t delighted but her crotch goblins were not out of the nappies yet. The party was fab tho, proper village long table with prolly about hundred people in the middle of nowhere with a lot of live music, food and vodka.

I was in my teens (living with my grandma the whole life) when my mother asked if I want to come to the nearest town for family photos on Saturday and I said yeah no, it’s sauna day you know. Turned out I missed my mother’s wedding because I had to wash my hair. Still joined them in the afternoon for my mom’s birthday and as it turned out the afterparty. So yeah, technically I have attended both my parents’ weddings.

Thank you, it’s the sweetest!!!

I’ll take a cat sticker please, thankyouverymuch!

My alarm cannot be anything with a real melody or I will hum it for hours on. I use some default tune what’s more of a trill, does the job. My text/email alert used to be popping the bottle cap sound, my current phone has some brrp noise close enough to a fart to make me giggle - I’m old but not mature.

As for ring tones, I used to purchase some for pocket change from the last page of the tv guide. All fun and games until all the old relatives started dropping like flies. It just doesn’t feel right to get an invitation to another funeral preceded by the Scissors Sisters ‘I don’t feel like dancing’ or Eamon’s ‘fuck you’. For a long time my ring tone was the old school land line ringing. From the moment I was able to choose the ring tone from my playlist it has been ‘Heavy Cross’ by Gossip. I feel it’s suitable for all occurrences while being only mine.

Osakmakwabane, he went by Osas

So, did you like the chimichurri? Did you buy it or make your own?

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

Pesto needs some kind of delivery system, you can’t just spoon it in your mouth with a spoon on weekly basis. Do you always have the same base or do you change it around or how does it work for you?

Can you microwave a small amount or maybe heat on the stove in a sauce pot? Sour milk will curdle. Then just use it for pancakes instead of buttermilk

I think I would prefer the actual rabbits to that rabbit-sized rat who lives in my alley and feeds on downstairs coffee shop’s waste

You’re from very eloquent part of Texas

Does the sour cream come in bags in your neck of the woods? I thought it’s quite region specific product along with bagged milk.

Random thought: have you tried to make a devilled egg out of goose egg?

I have Spanish friends and Portuguese friends. Some of them eat 12 grapes, some eat 12 raisins. I can never remember which is which

Dammit, Moon-Moon!

I guess I’m not in my right mind then. At home cowboy coffee only, I don’t even have a French press or a v60. Although in my country we call it tramp coffee.

Lasagna! I thought they are eating bacon with the spoon

I need stories about Jynx, sounds like we’re in for a ride

Maybe a typo from loaf mode? That would make sense

Magnificent

Ahem