Humans, you claim you don’t want to be fed to crabs. Yet you don’t have a shell or claws to defend yourselves and you are soft and delicious. Curious.

– Turning Point Crab

He’s a disgrace. Still classifying Rhinantus minor in the Scrophulariaceae instead of Orobanchaceae after APGIII. Smh.

‘Butterflies with bat wings feeding on dwarf mammoths’ now a thing in my mind

What did they eat? Or was it only caterpillars eating and butterflies fucking everywhere? Man the Permian was freaky.

Also why are they not 2 metres wide? Disappointing.

Carnivorous plants need to attract insects to feed AND to reproduce. Of course they don’t want to eat the pollinators so they usually have flowers with long stems

Well obviously you try to fuck the fish first, but it doesn’t give anything so you try the next best thing.

Much peaceful. Very tranquillity

“2025: during the great war against the gays and windfarms, the president successfully strikes a masterful blow to his enemies by closing the twitter account of a Mars robot”

Don’t sweat it, I’m French, too.

Qu’est-ce que tu viens juste de dire sur moi, espèce de malotru ? Je te ferais remarquer que j’ai gagné la médaille du meilleur artisan de France, option viennoiserie et j’ai participé à plus de 300 concours régionaux de boulanger-pâtissier en Gascogne. Je suis entraîné en choco 2 barres et 3 barres et je suis le meilleur en pâte feuilletée de tout le sud-ouest. Pour moi, tu n’es rien de plus qu’un client ordinaire. Je vais te vendre une chocolatine comme tu n’en as jamais goûté, tu t’en souviendras. Tu crois que tu peux t’en sortir aussi facilement en me parlant comme ça sur internet ? Essaie encore. Pendant qu’on est en train de parler, j’ai contacté un livreur deliveroo et on est en train de remonter ta trace, donc tu ferais mieux de te préparer à une sacrée régalade, mon gros poulet.

So many fucking French here. Don’t you have baguettes to put somewhere where the sun never shines and white flags to weave? I know I have

Yeah OK I’ll need a source for that

I hate you!

Tiens tiens tiens well I happen to be French as well and I have already judged you (I hate you because you probably are on the wrong side of the chocolatine/pain au chocolat debate)

“Judgmental asshole who hates the world” and “French” are a bit redundant

Wittgenstein found an elegant solution to this kind of paradox: “This is obvious bullshit. Next.”

Thanks. Fair enough.

Which one though? Is it Xi Jinping? Putin? Charles Taylor? Bush? Blair? Netanyahu? Ratko Mladic? Jean Kambanda? Samphan? Assad (not that old I suppose)?

There are so many of them

ETA: I see the downvotes. I truly have no fucking clue who you are talking about. Duterte? Lukashenko?

Casper, lighting a cigarette: “a well earned retirement. I’m getting too old for this job”

The shepherd: “the coyotes, they’ve taken Woolly the lamb”

Casper: 🐶😡🔫

Yeah it’s a smashing way to solve the issue: in Iceland, homeless people on the streets don’t stay homeless for long! (They don’t stay people either)