If anyone has contacts for mutual aid and relocation, please contact me. I have contacts in Minnesota and Illinois and I want to help get people to safer areas, if possible.

I’m thinking about killing myself constantly. I can’t imagine I’ll ever long for this.

Maybe if I’m dead? But then I won’t be longing for anything…

I’m just south of that area now. I’m considering moving up there, but no plans yet. I haven’t had great experiences with healthcare in the area and it’s making me not want to stay

It’s hard to move out of the states, and my degree isn’t a high enough level to let me get a work visa in my current field.

Sadposts go here! This is a safe space to vent and let it out. Your experience is valid.

I can’t speak much to the interpersonal stuff, but if you’re able to find a good lgbtq experienced therapist, it can be really helpful. I also hate doctors and the healthcare system in general (despite being a nurse), but often queer therapists will be able to relate because of shared life experience.

https://www.outcarehealth.org/outlist/
This is a good resource to find lgbt friendly providers in your area. They require a training to be on the list - it’s nothing extensive, but it does help ensure the providers listed understand the basics of problems lgbt patients face.

I hope you are able to talk to someone that can help. Good luck - you got this!

It’s incredibly important to stay hydrated while practicing! Thanks for bringing this up!

Something you might benefit from is practicing with an “increased cognitive load” - basically doing something that uses your brain while also speaking. It can be difficult at first, but eventually, it helps with being able to use your voice without thinking about it.

I practiced in the shower and in the car when I did it - I wasn’t out and didn’t have many safe spaces.

Are you focusing on resonance at all? It’s generally more important than pitch. Focus on raising your resonance, and pitch will follow.

Also, if anyone is interested in starting a discord to practice voice training, please invite me!

I started with a doctor, but I’ve basically been DIY for about 2 years now due to a lack of competent providers in my area.

If you can afford it, it’s worth getting your blood checked at a place like Quest Diagnostics or any other non-hospital affiliated lab. Look around and compare prices. it should be a few hundred dollars. It’s not something to do frequently, but you can at least get an idea of what your levels are. The one caveat is that if you’re taking oral medication, it might not even be worth it unless you can time your lab right at the peak dosing time.

You aren’t likely to overdo it to the point of safety unless you’re taking massive doses. WPATH recommends 100-200 for your E range, but I know girls that are under the care of (less informed) doctors, and I’ve seen results closer to 1000s without ill effects. It’s important to stay active and not smoke to prevent blood clots, but that’s about it. It’s good to do some weight training to help with bone strength, in case you lose access to your hormones it can help osteoporosis if you have had any testicular atrophy.

The most important thing - of your seeing results you’re happy with, keep it up! E can be magic, but I’ve found a lot of my passing privilege comes from learning how to frame my face and pick clothes that are flattering for my body type.

Voice training is well worth it if your goal is to pass, but it’s often one of the most difficult things you can do, especially without a teacher. If you’re interested, DM me and I would be happy to help with resources and what not.

Glad to hear some of us are doing well, even without official support. Keep it up!

My cat is a tabby and does this exact thing with his paw. Feels like love.

Thank you for the thought-out response.

It doesn’t sound like site soreness, and if you’re using insulin needles, those are too small to get into the muscle anyway.

Your dose might be a little high, but I doubt it’s so high that it’s putting you at a risk for blood clots.

It honestly sounds like it could just be soreness from exercising more if you started doing that around the same time as injections, and your body isn’t used to it. It could also be an electrolyte imbalance, as some others mentioned, but if you’re young and relatively healthy that’s fairly unlikely.

I usually start with the most likely scenario and move from there. It’s pretty unlikely to be a DVT, injection site soreness, or electrolyte imbalance, so it’s likely just soreness. If you aren’t already, try adding some light stretching before or after you exercise. Applying heat should help, too, if it’s just muscle soreness. I would bring all this up with your doctor so they are able to rule out the more serious stuff, but I would not be overly concerned about it.

On a somewhat related note, when looking up medical information I would stick with Mayo Clinic or Cleveland Clinic for general medical stuff. For trans specific info, Fenway Health is the gold standard (imo), someone linked to them in a different response. You can also check WPATH standards of care 8, but that’s meant as more of a reference for medical professionals and it might be a bit dense.

Please let us know how it goes, and keep asking questions! It’s best to get from medical professionals, but sadly folks like us don’t always have that luxury.

Estrogen does not dilate blood vessels, and vasodilation won’t cause pain. It’s very unlikely that the hormone is causing the pain.

I have a few questions, if you don’t mind? You said you are doing the injections subcutaneous. Where are you injecting? What length of needle are you using? Subcutaneous injections are relatively painless and shouldn’t be causing any of the issues you are describing, but if you’re using a needle that is too big or injecting in a bad spot the pain could be related to injection site soreness.

Pain in the legs and below the knee could be a sign of deep vein thrombosis. It’s very unlikely, but estrogen can make you more susceptible to blood clots. You are at higher risk for this if you smoke cigarettes (especially if you’re over 35), if you have a more sedentary lifestyle, or if your serum estrogen level is too high. Subcutaneous injections tend to lead to higher serum estrogen levels, which can put you at a higher risk for blood clots.

You said you are DIY, is anyone checking your estrogen levels? What dose of estrogen are you taking, and how often?

It’s pretty unlikely the pain is from a DVT, but that is a very serious complication you need to rule out (a dislodged clot from a DVT that travels to your lungs can cause a pulmonary embolism, which can potentially be fatal).

I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending, but these are the questions I would ask if you were a patient.

I tried to, I’m not sure where? The link I followed did not seem to let me, but as I said, sometimes I struggle with tech.

Do you know where I could find a link?

Maybe I’m dumb, but I can’t access this

Have an appointment tomorrow. Don’t know if it constitutes legal discrimination, but I’m almost tempted to bring it even if it’s not a slam dunk. They care so much about reputation a lawsuit would hurt them more than I ever could.

Thank you. Already had a meeting scheduled with a lawyer tomorrow.

I just wanted to do some good. I didn’t even get a chance to pass off my patients.