As someone who lives here:

This is real.

Distilled water does not have chlorine!

With kimchi, I used very little water (only the amount the recipe suggests). The veggies I use( Chinese cabbage) contains a lot of water naturally and my batch always overflows once fermentation happens.

#3 is accurate! I absolutely eyeballed my salt and hot sauce and did not do things correctly.

Then Surprised Pikachu face when it got moldy.

I absolutely took a in-person workshop and then watched a dozen YouTube videos.

My first batch was awful. Like putrid and rancid.

My second one was edible!