To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

  • pulido@lemmings.world
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    18 hours ago

    I dunno, huge leopards ate my face vibes from people like this.

    They keep putting their faith in shitty males then act all surprised when the males turn out to be shit.

    I’d wager all the good males in her life were too “dorky” or “unpopular” for her to give them the time of day.

    • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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      17 hours ago

      Yeah how dare she get her personal photos spread across the internet and get sexually harassed!

      This is the most incel take and just kind of proves her point

      • pulido@lemmings.world
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        17 hours ago

        You’d have a point if she didn’t willingly give the pictures up to the shitty male that shared them.

        • needanke@feddit.org
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          8 hours ago

          You either didn’t read the article or have a definition of consent that honestly worries me:

          The most lasting repercussions from that period stemmed from her modelling agency’s requirement to provide a weekly selfie. In a forerunner to OnlyFans, her agency ran a website that gave private content to subscribers.

          Around the same time, as a student and part-time model, someone she was dating took her photo while she slept and posted it on his mates’ group chat.

          But honestly that is somewhat besides the point. Even if she would have made the photos without any outside pressure and full consent that does not give anyone the right to distribute them against her wishes.

          If I go to the bank and put my money into my a savings account I am not to blame if they turn around, use it to gamble and lose it all. I never agreed for them to use it in such a fashion even though I agreed for them to use it and it is not something I should have to expect from a bank.

          • pulido@lemmings.world
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            7 hours ago

            does not give anyone the right to distribute them against her wishes.

            You’re right, it doesn’t give them the right. Did you think I was implying that it did? You might want to brush up on your reading comprehension if that’s the case.

        • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          17 hours ago

          And you would have a point if the man was an openly shitty person. For all you knew this was an otherwise respectable dude who still shared nudes of his partner. You can’t always tell shitty dudes ahead of time. Sometimes you can only know them when they are being shitty dudes.

          Instead, you don’t have a point, you’re just looking to blame the victim.

          • pulido@lemmings.world
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            17 hours ago

            He doesn’t even have to be ‘openly shitty.’ He just has to be ‘average’ or ‘typical’ and that should be enough to set off alarm bells because the current dating landscape rewards shitty males while punishing good ones.

            It’s a cultural problem. I’m not going to give the average male the benefit of the doubt because most average males I’ve come across in my life fall into the category of ‘shitbag womanizer.’

            We need to stop enabling them and start educating people on how to make better decisions on who they associate with.

              • pulido@lemmings.world
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                7 hours ago

                We shouldn’t expect bad people to do the right thing because otherwise they wouldn’t be bad people.

                I know you like living in a fantasy land, but in the real world there are plenty of horrible people that only see others as stepping stones to get what they want. It’s not the world I want to live in, but I would be willfully ignorant if I did not accept it.

                • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  6 hours ago

                  You think the woman can change to be more responsible…
                  but you don’t think the man can change to be less irritating.

                  Pulido, if you don’t believe bad people can change, why bother with a society that keeps prisoners at all? Why not just kill them?

                  • pulido@lemmings.world
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                    6 hours ago

                    I think the male can change if he was forced to. Every time he succeeds in womanizing a victim, he has more reasons to stay the same.

                    why bother with a society that keeps prisoners at all?

                    Because I don’t accept something as fact just because it’s upvoted on reddit. Prisons aren’t just for ‘rehabilitation.’ They are also for keeping ne’er-do-wells away from harming others.

        • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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          17 hours ago

          I guess it’s also the fault of the victims of abusive relationships then? A man getting abused by his wife or girlfriend should have just not gotten with her?

          The point is you can’t know what someone’s like right away, sometimes not for a long while into a relationship.

          And again, why are you blaming her and the person sharing the photos?

      • pulido@lemmings.world
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        18 hours ago

        At some point, people have to take responsibility for their actions. Otherwise they’re just being treated like children.

        You don’t think this woman should be treated like a child, do you?

        • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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          17 hours ago

          What actions should she take responsibility for? And why is your first response to attack her over the people causing her harm?

          • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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            2 hours ago

            No one has nudes of me because…I don’t take nudes or give them to others. It’s that easy.

            Not unlike what I said to my children (all sons), “If you are having sex and not taking an active role in contraceptives, then you are saying you’re fine with your partner deciding to have children.” If you give out nudes, then you have explicitly decided to give that person the option to distribute them. This isn’t a statement of legality, but a statement of reality.

          • pulido@lemmings.world
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            17 hours ago

            They keep putting their faith in shitty males then act all surprised when the males turn out to be shit.

            • Ledericas@lemm.ee
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              59 minutes ago

              theres a reason why woman go after guys like that and not like “nice guy like you” first of all nice guy always codeward for acting like a creepy stalker.

              a shitty or dumb guy probably has more personality, than “nice guys”. Also there is something for everyone dont down yourself, and people like incels thinking they “undatabale”. even 2 shitty people can date and marry and have kids, 1 woman and 1guy both can be bad people but still date.

    • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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      17 hours ago

      That last paragraph in particular reads like a parody of incel thought.

      You may be a “nice guy” if…

      • Ledericas@lemm.ee
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        1 hour ago

        i was going to say the same thing, that is like the creepy thing a guy can say to a girl they want interact with. nice guy are not nice to a girl. and many woman can smell the desperation of incels so they stay away from them too.

      • pulido@lemmings.world
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        17 hours ago

        It’s sad how much you people have been conditioned to ignore the truth whenever it’s something someone else doesn’t like.

        • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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          13 hours ago

          You may also be conditioned. Conditioned to think you would treat a woman exceptionally well, yet you harbor a subconscious misogyny. There are many cases where the “dorky” and “unpopular” guy gets a chance, the woman behaves in a way that doesn’t meet his standards, and he becomes abusive.

          • pulido@lemmings.world
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            13 hours ago

            No, I’m a complete asshole and women love me for it.

            I always feel bad for the nice guys who get to watch from the sidelines.