It ruined my whole life. I never finished school, was only allowed to do unsatisfying simple work as I lacked any diplomas and I always felt misunderstood. I ended up joining the navy (totally not for me, as I found out I’m an anarchist and do not belong there) as I didn’t have work during a financial crisis. I was never understood or accepted as I did officer’s work which created hate among the other sailors and NCO’s, but at the same time I was still a low life sailor (and later NCO) to the officers I worked with so was never treated with respect. I never liked it, but change is hard so I stayed there for 15 years. Now I cannot work anymore due to PTSD from deployment so it scarred me for life.
At least I got recognition after being diagnosed 5 years ago and now I’m getting somewhat of support, but it’s kinda too late as I’m damaged for life and am mentally incapable of going back to school to start over. The combination of autism, ADHD, depression and PTSD is something no one dares to treat so every form of mental help failed and gave up on me.
But at least I have 3 cats.
I have a steady income thanks to a military disabled pension due to my PTSD military discharge so I can support myself and my hobbies. But I lack any form of intellectual challenge and daily routine so I can’t say I’m happy. Every day is a struggle and even though I have loads I can do hobby wise, I feel insanely bored and depressed and fail to do anything most days.
My parents still don’t accept it, neither does the rest of my family. They say they do, but at the same time they tell me not to be lazy and stop hiding behind the diagnose, just to man up and be normal for a change. To finally stop being a rebellious teenager in it’s puberty and start to act like an adult (I’m 38). The conflict escalated many times, now to a point that I blocked all contact with them as I see their behavior as mental abuse (up to a traumatic level). So my entire family is dead to me.
But at least I have friends who accept me for who I am, who I love and who love me. I know many can’t say that so I count myself rich and fortunate in that matter.
Because I got diagnosed, I can have some peace with myself. I can accept who and what I am. But I cannot have peace with the situation I’m in (although I know it could be a lot worse).
Forced to watch an execution of serval hostages while I couldn’t do anything. Worst part was that we left to prevent them from killing more.
I don’t want to talk about it more, I’ve had therapy so it’s not as heavy as it used to be, but it’s still like walking o the edge of a cliff dealing with it. Not much is needed to fall down.
It ruined my whole life. I never finished school, was only allowed to do unsatisfying simple work as I lacked any diplomas and I always felt misunderstood. I ended up joining the navy (totally not for me, as I found out I’m an anarchist and do not belong there) as I didn’t have work during a financial crisis. I was never understood or accepted as I did officer’s work which created hate among the other sailors and NCO’s, but at the same time I was still a low life sailor (and later NCO) to the officers I worked with so was never treated with respect. I never liked it, but change is hard so I stayed there for 15 years. Now I cannot work anymore due to PTSD from deployment so it scarred me for life.
At least I got recognition after being diagnosed 5 years ago and now I’m getting somewhat of support, but it’s kinda too late as I’m damaged for life and am mentally incapable of going back to school to start over. The combination of autism, ADHD, depression and PTSD is something no one dares to treat so every form of mental help failed and gave up on me.
But at least I have 3 cats.
I have a steady income thanks to a military disabled pension due to my PTSD military discharge so I can support myself and my hobbies. But I lack any form of intellectual challenge and daily routine so I can’t say I’m happy. Every day is a struggle and even though I have loads I can do hobby wise, I feel insanely bored and depressed and fail to do anything most days.
My parents still don’t accept it, neither does the rest of my family. They say they do, but at the same time they tell me not to be lazy and stop hiding behind the diagnose, just to man up and be normal for a change. To finally stop being a rebellious teenager in it’s puberty and start to act like an adult (I’m 38). The conflict escalated many times, now to a point that I blocked all contact with them as I see their behavior as mental abuse (up to a traumatic level). So my entire family is dead to me.
But at least I have friends who accept me for who I am, who I love and who love me. I know many can’t say that so I count myself rich and fortunate in that matter.
Because I got diagnosed, I can have some peace with myself. I can accept who and what I am. But I cannot have peace with the situation I’m in (although I know it could be a lot worse).
do you wanna talk about what caused your PTSD? i would be interested.
Forced to watch an execution of serval hostages while I couldn’t do anything. Worst part was that we left to prevent them from killing more.
I don’t want to talk about it more, I’ve had therapy so it’s not as heavy as it used to be, but it’s still like walking o the edge of a cliff dealing with it. Not much is needed to fall down.