Tough one. I don’t have any lived experiences of disability so I’m relying on those that do and I’m happy to learn, but… is it not better than than assuming that they can?
I can understand that it would be mega fuckin frustrating for people to chime in and offer help even if it’s coming from a good place, but it seems to me that society has come a long way towards helping people by default rather than just letting people struggle and expect to have to ask for support.
I suppose with no understanding of the depth and extent of a disability - coupled with the notion that not all disabilities are visible - means that it’s impossible to tell if someone needs support or otherwise. I suppose I would always err on the side of caution and ask someone if they need help - not because I want to intrude, but I’d want to make sure everyone gets the opportunity to do whatever they’re trying to do.
It does take a little practice to know when to ask if someone needs help. Generally if someone needs help in public then they’ll bring a friend or family member to help them.
That being said, it’s always better to ask than assume. Never push someone’s wheelchair (particularly into a road without checking for cars, yes this has happened to people) unless you’ve offered assistance and the person has said yes.
Personally, I’d rather have someone friendly ask how I’m doing and leave it at that if I say “fine”. I may not need or want help, but it’s nice to be reminded that people care.
Nah that’s cool, I appreciate your comment, thank you.
I don’t think I’d ever feel comfortable physically intervening in someone’s life whether they had a disability or not, without consent or a very good reason why I’m getting hands on with their shit. It just seems mega rude from all angles.
That said, I’d be entirely comfortable with walking past and dropping in a “do you need a hand with anything?” and if I’m told “no thanks” or “nope” or “fuck off”, then that’s cool too.
I’d say don’t. We live with the disability and we know how it works, if we need help we’ll ask. If someone says “do you need help with X” then potentially that’s assuming the person can’t do X when they can. I find the biggest issue most disabled people report is discrimination, being patronised and being insulted. Think this way… would you ask a black person if they spoke English? Or if they could read and write?
I don’t follow your analogy though. It seems to mix two or three different characteristics to form a new question.
However, if I saw someone who clearly spoke a different first language that appeared to find the situation difficult, and I had a proficiency in their mother tongue… then yeah I probably would ask if there’s anything I could help with. If it’s a “no” then that’s cool, but if it was a “yes” then I’d feel a little better that I’ve potentially made someone’s day that little bit easier.
Tough one. I don’t have any lived experiences of disability so I’m relying on those that do and I’m happy to learn, but… is it not better than than assuming that they can?
I can understand that it would be mega fuckin frustrating for people to chime in and offer help even if it’s coming from a good place, but it seems to me that society has come a long way towards helping people by default rather than just letting people struggle and expect to have to ask for support.
I suppose with no understanding of the depth and extent of a disability - coupled with the notion that not all disabilities are visible - means that it’s impossible to tell if someone needs support or otherwise. I suppose I would always err on the side of caution and ask someone if they need help - not because I want to intrude, but I’d want to make sure everyone gets the opportunity to do whatever they’re trying to do.
It does take a little practice to know when to ask if someone needs help. Generally if someone needs help in public then they’ll bring a friend or family member to help them.
That being said, it’s always better to ask than assume. Never push someone’s wheelchair (particularly into a road without checking for cars, yes this has happened to people) unless you’ve offered assistance and the person has said yes.
Personally, I’d rather have someone friendly ask how I’m doing and leave it at that if I say “fine”. I may not need or want help, but it’s nice to be reminded that people care.
Nah that’s cool, I appreciate your comment, thank you.
I don’t think I’d ever feel comfortable physically intervening in someone’s life whether they had a disability or not, without consent or a very good reason why I’m getting hands on with their shit. It just seems mega rude from all angles.
That said, I’d be entirely comfortable with walking past and dropping in a “do you need a hand with anything?” and if I’m told “no thanks” or “nope” or “fuck off”, then that’s cool too.
I’d say don’t. We live with the disability and we know how it works, if we need help we’ll ask. If someone says “do you need help with X” then potentially that’s assuming the person can’t do X when they can. I find the biggest issue most disabled people report is discrimination, being patronised and being insulted. Think this way… would you ask a black person if they spoke English? Or if they could read and write?
Thanks for your insight.
I don’t follow your analogy though. It seems to mix two or three different characteristics to form a new question.
However, if I saw someone who clearly spoke a different first language that appeared to find the situation difficult, and I had a proficiency in their mother tongue… then yeah I probably would ask if there’s anything I could help with. If it’s a “no” then that’s cool, but if it was a “yes” then I’d feel a little better that I’ve potentially made someone’s day that little bit easier.