Counterpoint: I have a friend, who is tends to be shy, but I thought it was just because she is like that naturally, like me. But turns out she has a narcissist for a father, a mentally unstable mother, a former friend that tried to kill her, a few stalkers, an aunt who is also trying to kill her, a dysfunctional extended family and almost no one to rely on.
She told me all of those stories, and I told her “this is insane, it’s not normal, and all of your issues are not bad habits, they are ways to deal with some fucked up things”. I told her she was so strong and I meant it. And she said she never knew it was not normal, and she was happy to hear it, and I think it was really important to hear.
Of course “you’re so strong” can be annoying, but it can also help someone get a grip back on reality. As a general rule, if it’s only annoying to some people, it can still be worth doing. I’ll annoy 100 people if it means I can be helpful to even one person that’s like my friend.
I mean, but when you have to hear it all the time, y’know, like most people don’t, it kinda just… feels wrong. It’s probably pretty nice to hear when you’re in deep shit though.
Yeah I can imagine if you get it all the time it’s really patronizing in a weird way, but as someone who says it, I have good reason to still do it. Of course if you tell you don’t like when I say it, I’ll stop.
Counterpoint: I have a friend, who is tends to be shy, but I thought it was just because she is like that naturally, like me. But turns out she has a narcissist for a father, a mentally unstable mother, a former friend that tried to kill her, a few stalkers, an aunt who is also trying to kill her, a dysfunctional extended family and almost no one to rely on.
She told me all of those stories, and I told her “this is insane, it’s not normal, and all of your issues are not bad habits, they are ways to deal with some fucked up things”. I told her she was so strong and I meant it. And she said she never knew it was not normal, and she was happy to hear it, and I think it was really important to hear.
Of course “you’re so strong” can be annoying, but it can also help someone get a grip back on reality. As a general rule, if it’s only annoying to some people, it can still be worth doing. I’ll annoy 100 people if it means I can be helpful to even one person that’s like my friend.
I mean, but when you have to hear it all the time, y’know, like most people don’t, it kinda just… feels wrong. It’s probably pretty nice to hear when you’re in deep shit though.
Yeah I can imagine if you get it all the time it’s really patronizing in a weird way, but as someone who says it, I have good reason to still do it. Of course if you tell you don’t like when I say it, I’ll stop.