Imo, both can be true and both are true. It’s a vicious cycle. In a general sense, women are tired of men and men are tired of women.
It’s so obvious to everyone that far-right men are driving women to the left that it’s not even worth mentioning in the midst of well adjusted, moderate people. It’s a fact that normal people kind of just intrinsically know. Ask literally anyone who doesn’t own a MAGA hat if they think far-right men are driving women to the left and they’ll probably respond with something along the lines of “uhhh yeah… no fucking duh?”
Amongst well adjusted men, accepting responsibility for their role in social issues is the status quo. Every man I know who still has color in their hair puts a conscious effort toward avoiding problematic behavior and rectifying the issues their fathers and grandfathers perpetuated. There is universal acknowledgement of the situation at hand.
You know what I almost never see? I almost never see women acknowledge that they too play a part in this awful dynamic that affects all of us. Granted, in the past 2 years I have known women who acknowledge that the problem does indeed affect society as a whole. But never do I see an acknowledgement of mutual culpability. It’s still always framed as something men are doing that they could stop at any moment if they choose.
I mentioned the status quo amongst normal people. The reason the idea that women are pushing men to the right triggers such a response is because this idea is in opposition to the status quo, and this has got to change because it is definitely true. Young men are tired of the callousness toward their very real issues, tired of being made to feel like villains, and they are eager to be in the company of people who value them.
I’m firmly left wing. Not nearly tankie level but much further than the average milquetoast socdem. I really truly do not feel welcome here. I’m here because I’ve developed strong opinions that persist IN SPITE of how unwelcome I feel in leftism, feminism, and progressivism in general. Young men who are freshly sentient and just starting to form opinions will absolutely be swayed by the emotions they are made to feel when interacting with more opinionated people.
I know that most people will not read more than the first quarter of this message without writing me off as right wing or saying “oh boo hoo poor men nobody cares” or it will be assumed that I’m writing this to inflame. I’m not. I’m writing this because I love people so fucking much and it breaks my heart on a daily basis to see this rift growing larger and larger more and more rapidly. Every individual of every gender is at fault here. Our society is deeply sick. We need to escape our echo chambers and have some real talk. Trying to weigh who is more evil and who is more good is futile, useless, and only serves as a distraction from our healing. Please get it straight: We all fucking suck. The only thing we can do now is try to understand each other and foster real compassion. Posting snide tweets offers temporary relief but it helps nothing.
Really appreciate you reading and replying. Sometimes I just gotta rant. Usually I type up a page or two in my local editor and delete it right after, just for the relief, but I decided to actually post this time.
In our society it seems to me that we have two parallel status quos. I’m acutely aware of how criticizing either can bring down the ire of the faction it belongs to, but you know… I’m over it. If being called names and being made out as a bad person is the risk, I’m okay with that. Saying nothing (or saying only what everyone else is saying) and watching our reality dissolve is more painful. I trust that there are enough people who will see that I’m coming from a place of compassion and positive hope for the future. Either way, we should know full well that whatever we’ve been trying isn’t working. We need a new discourse, really badly. The right is winning, not because hate is so attractive, but because they are offering a real sense of in-group belonging when the left is not.