Take care

The first step is networking through secure communication, especially at this early stage where we simply can’t predict what is or isn’t going to happen. Don’t underestimate the importance and value of communication.

Just cycled past this town hall in Belgium. Also lots of churches here hang the flag, including the progressive trans one. In other countries too. In the smallest towns to the biggest cities.

I know that it might seem a bit mean of me to dangle this in front of you, but I just mean to say that there’s a way forward and hope.

Except UI changes. Those should just stay in progress forever.

It’s two weeks or so for me. Currently going through that again. Actually in Juli it was all gone, and it was such a great relief. Then it came back with a vengeance. So I started boymoding and not using makeup. Big mistake. It’s better to just accept it and continue being yourself. What a nightmare!

Okay one thing that bothers me so much is how hard it is to hook custom logic into the play button. Like all I want is my own script to run when someone presses play.

Sometimes this is important because you need to do some processing on the scene. Or perhaps the scene is a UI scene or something and you just want to start from another scene that shows the UI at work.

Like if you are developing a UI, you just wanna press play and it should just work and play. Either from the start scene or a test scene.

That’s the weird thing about unity. On one hand it allows you to do a lot of editor customization, and I haven’t worked on a project yet that doesn’t have some form of that. On the other hand, you can’t even hook into or replace the play button logic, which you could argue is the most basic action of all.

Another thing is that a client I am working for just switched to unity’s version management. And it just doesn’t work in a straight forward way. I still don’t have that working because I need to work and get stuff done.

Another thing is that their new animation system didn’t even allow me to query the duration of an animation, at least back when it came out and kept marketing with it. We actually ended up writing an entirely parallel system with meta data which was overly complicated for what we needed.

I could go on…

I’m sorry

Then you’ll also be surprised to learn that I am insulted constantly and laughed at. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of great people, but it is naive to think the Netherlands is a tolerant place. When you go through the medical system you face the same attitudes.

The issue is, if you believe in the system, you’ll give it a chance to traumatize you. This is added on top of other traumas such as losing your family, becoming homeless and so on. The trans thing itself isn’t actually the biggest part of it, it’s the culture and the society.

Sure, you could get lucky and have the right gp and meet the right psychiatrist, and then you have to wait 5 years before you get any medical support. I’ve tried. I mean I’ve literally been at a gp that I knew was trans friendly and I told her I was at risk of suicide, and she was OK with that.

And about the medicine, well you can compound it yourself. I honestly can’t live without it, because it is night and day for my mental wellbeing. Without it, it is extremely difficult to live. It’s like you’re in a state of dissociation and it’s painful. It’s quite a complex thing to describe, but you are effectively disabled and are at risk of suicide.

I’ve been with unity since the early days and back then it was this simple little engine.

Today it’s a nightmare. I just made an hdr project and imported their own terrain example assets and guess what? It’s broken in multiple ways. Now I have to waste time fixing it, instead of focusing on my project. And that’s as a unity expert rather than a beginner.

That’s not to mention all the errors it loves to throw at me, even though it’s all quite vanilla. And how it loves to grab my attention with popup windows that block my view. How builds fail when I focus on another window. I could go on.

They keep adding features without finishing them. Clearly some kind of impulsive marketing behavior, rather than listening to the experts.

The cherry on top is that licensing nonsense they pulled, putting my hard earned livelihood in danger. That stuff really makes you scratch your head and look around.

Seriously, try out Godot.

Edit: I actually just realized I haven’t even started yet with truly getting stuff off my chest here.

I’m trans. Giving up on the system has been good for me. It was like a one sided relationship. Now when I need something I just solve it on my own and it works.

I’ve read the SVN book from cover to cover and understand what can go wrong during a merge and how to solve it. But I never tell anyone, because I hate it more than anything.

NL

I’m in Europe and can’t get my meds either

It’s too yucky to recycle

Didn’t read due to pay wall.

But ya, I remember sitting at the bar of my gym, having a tea, chatting with some people. This older man joined, and my god did a wave of negativity blow out of him. Like just pure anger about what was clearly from cessbook. I can’t imagine he has many friends. I don’t have anything against him, I am sure he has many cool things in his life to connect over. But this just isn’t right.

I believe we should have friends of all ages. That shouldn’t just be my personal belief, but also part of our civil planning and more. For example an elementary school can be next to a senior home, and they need some stuff to be able to connect over, like some animals and a garden and so on.

This whole idea of an atomic family is simply not gonna pull this wagon.

Thanks, that was good!

Over here people act as if they’re stealing when they go to the supermarket. Run in, grab that one thing, and get out as quickly as possible through the self checkout. It’s quite amazing to look at, really.

It just makes you realize how few people actually stop to look at what others are doing.

And you thought 2020 was bad

The video was… stimulating.