A few days ago I made an account and posted a few joke/meme comments that got a lot of engagement. Unfortunately, the replies seemed to be mostly personal attacks on me disguised as jokes, when all I was doing was trying to be funny in a harmless way. I deleted that account and this one will be temporary. You people complain about this site lacking content compared to Reddit, about communities with only one person posting regularly and there not being enough niches, but how do you expect any growth to occur if the first thing someone experiences when posting on a new account is getting dogpiled on?
It wasn’t my first account either, it was my latest attempt to reenter the fray after feeling like I was becoming the butt of the joke on an account before that, just engaging with the community in the way that I like to. It almost felt like on both accounts my comments were being deliberately mass upvoted just as a setup to be humiliated. Some people have horrific lives IRL that would make any reasonable person want to kill themselves, and are stuck in those soul crushing situations for years and years with no way out. It would be nice to find a place to joke around and feel even just the simulated warmth of human connection without the same kind of nastiness I encounter in everyday life, so I’ll keep looking.
You say Reddit is toxic? I deleted my account there a long time ago, but my experience was that Reddit is like a big metropolis and Lemmy is more like a small town. Yes Reddit has jerks, but they don’t tag you with their third party app and follow you around, giving you the illusion of being accepted with (probably fake) upvotes while subtly mocking everything you say and passing it off as a joke. You can blend with the crowd there and not become a target. I really, really don’t want to give Reddit and OpenAI my data, but if I want a real social media experience that isn’t being gatekept by assholes who enjoy bullying on the internet because they’re too scared to do it IRL I may have to.
I hope Lemmy can fix itself, but my experience with small towns in real life is that those “big” (small) fish in their small, stagnant pond don’t want anything to ever change because the status quo suits their mediocrity and reinforces their egos. Which would be an ironic fate for the supposed “future” of social media. Almost none of the content, all of the toxicity. Why is it so hard for people to be respectful of others?
Mandatory img:
Edit: After consideration, I’ve decided to provide the context. I really don’t want to but here, username was TheRealSlimShady: https://lemmy.world/post/31011364
Basically I used a Trump gif ironically as a response, someone zoomed in on his mouth and called me gay for it looking like a loose butthole. The original comment was the classic green text “fake and gay”, and they turned the joke on me and made it personal.
Catchy title, wall of text, no public context, “You people”, one-sided complaints
10/10 shitpost
What did you expect me to do, invite more ridicule by linking to my profile and the thread I’m upset about?
But you expect everyone to immediately take you at your word without providing any context whatsoever.
I did not expect anything, because I don’t know what is going on.
In general I would say trying to own it decreases alienation, but what do I know?
been here for 2 years but haven’t experienced what you said you did, so I expected something that points to actual instances of those happening
I updated the post and added the link.
In my experience, Lemmy isn’t particularly toxic, though sometimes you might run across people with a bad attitude or just might have simply had a bad day. Block those sort of people if you need to, or report them, depending on context.
Also, life pro tip, people aren’t too keen on reading walls of text, especially if it’s mostly complaining…
It wasn’t anything bannable, just passive aggressive trolling and obviously trying to paint me into a corner/ruin my day without crossing the line. It was a brand new account, how could they have ALREADY zeroed in on me and decided I was a stupid joke within a single day when I hadn’t even fucked up and made a fool of myself yet? It makes no fucking sense. I have no clue how people like Stamets and cm0002 are so loved by so many and never seem to have those people harassing them. I also hate the idea of there being a horde of blocked users talking shit about me behind my back or trolling my posts and not being able to see it. I want to know how I’m being received, rather than becoming deluded into a false sense of security.
Bro. The amount of harassment I get is fucking unreal, it just happens to usually be from admins more than anyone else. But me and Picard have both had to deal with our fair share of lunatics users. Hell, I’ve got a straight up stalker who won’t stop harassing me with new accounts and shit. We just both kept posting and ignored the douchebags. Now we get regularly pinged by people saying thanks or some other compliment my autistic ass has no idea how to process. Things change.
Dude, I went through your post history (trying to find something star trek related I vaguely remember that I’m pretty sure you had comments on, nothing to worry about) and holy shit. ALL of your comments are upvoted pretty high and deleted by moderators, whose punch bowl did you piss in?
The head admin of your instance permanently banned me a year ago for no reason. I only just found out yesterday and messaged them asking what gives. They had no idea either, couldn’t remember and unbanned me. Everyone else on basically any other instance had no issue. More info on what happened.
I saw that thread, I didn’t notice that was you. Glad it got sorted out.
I noticed I was recently banned from a couple star trek comms about a month ago over the mod not reading the sarcasm in a comment of mine they must have seen (I assume, I only made one comment on the day I was banned). I’m really bothered by it though, none of the posts from those comms seem to get the numbers for me to see them in normal browsing, otherwise I would have noticed a month ago.
I was pretty active on my old account. I had some real banger comments, you know? But I drew the line when someone called me a clown in the form of a meme and fucking everyone upvoted it. I refuse to be the punchline to anyone’s joke again.
do you remember which instance had those users? or the instance that has the community you posted to?
there are a handful that I think most of us or our admins are blocking, because they are toxic and have a brigading culture
Curious if anyone on here has had zero negative interactions. I don’t know if that’s possible.
If any negative interactions stresses you out, OP, a forum-style community like this might not be for you. Or maybe you would be happier on an instance that disables downvotes; there are a few of them out there.
Do you have a link to the post and the replies you found toxic? So we can judge properly?
Unnecessary. He didn’t ask to be judged. He is venting the fact he wasn’t welcomed and I just got the same kind of experience yesterday. My account is brand new and I just wanted to help with some problem reported in a post and was attacked by an asshole I blocked after trying to get an explanation for the attack. It’s not about Lemmy, it’s about people on the social media. Assholes are everywhere trying to find an angle of attack.
The community wasn’t welcoming of a brand-new account posting “a few joke/meme comments that got a lot of engagement”. Curious. They already have several different accounts created, yet are refusing to link the comments, even on this burner one. Guaranteed it’s bigoted “edgy” ones that people weren’t down with…
My account is brand new and I just wanted to help with some problem reported in a post and was attacked by an asshole I blocked after trying to get an explanation for the attack.
They gave you a reason though, a lengthy one too. You probably didn’t notice it because you were too busy posting about putting your dick between a woman’s breasts.
It’s you, the type of person I’m talking about. Not surprised. Nice try.
How is asking for more information to get a better idea of what is happening a bad thing?
My first thought is that they’re one of the trolls trying to bait me.
Honestly, I am not trying to bait you or troll you or anything else when I say this but if you equate a simple request for context with toxicity you’re clearly not approaching this realistically or rationally.
You might well be right and you’ve been treated very poorly but literally no one on this thread apart from you can ever know that and no one is just going to take someone’s word for it.
“Context is toxic!” You clearly have no problem creating multiple accounts, so the fact that you won’t let people here see the comments you’re referencing speaks volumes…
Edit: Here you go. https://lemmy.world/post/31011364 Username was TheRealSlimShady.
You ever take a moment and think that maybe… Just maybe your jokes just weren’t funny?
And how exactly would you know? It sounds like you’re just fishing for a reaction. But the hundreds of upvotes suggest otherwise.
Ha! You’re cute. Lemmy is mean with all their upvoties!
Removed by mod
Yeah you could’nt possibly be the problem.
link…?
Give me some examples and I can critique if you want. I have found Lemmy to be welcoming
I really feel this. I’ve said versions of this before in other threads, so I won’t repeat it all again - but suffice it to say I’ve had the same experience more times than I can count. The problem isn’t just the occasional jerk; it’s the tone of the platform as a whole. There’s this ever-present undercurrent of smugness, snide one-liners, and tribal hostility and gate-keeping that makes it feel like you’re either on the inside of the joke, or you’re the joke.
It’s exhausting. And the irony is, like you pointed out, everyone here talks about wanting an alternative to Reddit, but then they turn around and make this place even worse in all the same ways - just smaller, more insular, and with more groupthink.
I don’t blame you one bit for feeling the way you do.
Block more people more often. There’s bunches of folk on here who are fun and welcoming but there’s toxic people too. Block people you don’t like. Block people who are mildly annoying. You can always unblock them later if you want to give them another chance.
I find it much less so than, say, reddit, or old-school website fora, or talking to randos on the bus, but then I browse by subscribed.
As usual, online and offline, it seems like everyone is having good interpersonal interactions without being bullied constantly except me.
Well, there might be a single common denominator in those observations. Have you considered therapy?
The anti lemmy content is still coming. It hasnt been this bad for months. Either the influx of people has really brought some shit in here or the oligarchs have found another free bastion to suffocate in their shitstorms.
In any case, if you are sincere, I can somehow relate as dogpiling is a problem in our society everywhere right now. Even in political left chats, people will say absolutely vile things because our society has degenerated that much.
I have blocked hundreds of accounts on here and i use suggested blocklists on some fedi services since I dont want corporate controlled bot armies to molest my users and me.
The issue with opinions as of right now is that, depending on the place, your possible lack of knowledge can trigger someone who thinks you’re doing it on purpose.
Example: someone posted a wholesome story about a japanese trainstation that stayed open for one kid until they graduated. I suggested people to read about the treatment pf children in japan and got banned for it. What I didnt write: japan has a massive child prostitution problem and doesnt seem to do jack shit about it. Of course i also got dogpiled on.
And this is an example of why lemmy is great. You can absolutely isolate a group of people from the outside world and its reality if they want that. But you cant shape the narrative on the whole platform, which makes this place so resilient and important.
I’m pretty sure this will get shat on but here we are, in the place where you can do that if necessary.
What I didnt write: japan has a massive child prostitution problem and doesnt seem to do jack shit about it.
Hold on, Tony… you got some sauce for this?
get ahold of yourself.
Pro Tip! Leave communities with nasty interactions and block people. Cancel culture does wonders. Overall, though, my interactions are usually very pleasant, the atmosphere here is more positive than on Reddit or other social platforms.
Be the change you want to see and stop making drama.
You’re creating the exact scenario OP bemoans.
Whatever you say.
Bro it’s cool if your gay. It’s 2025, it’s ok to suck dick and cup balls and want him to jizz down your throat. It’s ok to be Brett’s butt slut, his man hole. Just enjoy it ya know, no shame needed
I’m sorry you’re having such a bad time. I don’t think that anyone upvoted you with bad intentions. It seems like you are viewing “Lemmy” as a unified entity rather than a community of varied individuals. There are some very nice people here. There are also some douche bags. There are a few prominent posters that are frequently both of those options in quick succession. I wish I had a solution for you. I hope you find a community where you feel safe and seen.
