I’ll start. I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been indifferent about having children. I love peace and quiet, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind having kids if my partner really wanted them.
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and married for 11. I’m his second (and final) wife. He has three kids with his first wife. She was supportive of him taking a second wife, with just one request: no more children. That solidified my decision not to have kids.
Unfair! Overstepping! None of her business! She just wanted to limit who the heirs will be later.
He is NOT bound to this in any way. Not at all, even if he has made promises to her accordingly.
I think you must tell him this in very clear and explicit words, because I suspect that he is having such thoughts, and maybe still feels bound by her in this regard.
I think op doesn’t mean ‘first wive’ as in ex-wife.
You mean, the first one is still there in the place of a main wife, and OP is just the appendix?
I haven’t had such an idea, admittedly.
Maybe not ‘main’ and ‘appendix’? Both could be, like, actual wives idk.
It sounds like she is totally fine with that and there’s no reason to assume he isn’t either. It’s a “request”, clearly rooted in some desire to still be responsible co-parents who are dedicated to their children even though their marriage has ended.
Don’t look for drama, life is hard enough as is.
I took this statement as don’t have any more kids because it’s most likely having them is what lead to their own divorce. Having kids is insanely hard and you have to change who you are to make things work. Some people are awful at that, which leads to fighting and being miserable. As someone with 2 kids, I can say it’s very, very hard…
I read it as a poly relationship of some sort.