Learned this the hard way, by not showing up those few special occasions either. Now friendless. No one to blame but myself.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t think it’s anybody’s fault being how they are. Also, it might be hard to make close friends the older you get you can still meet people with similar interests and just spend some time with other people. Getting out of your own head and seeing others perspectives can really help. Find some groups to join and get over yourself :)
To everyone who still has friends asking you to join. Don’t pass up on those chances. This is the easiest you’ll ever have it.
What if you’re kind of a shitty friend on top of an introvert though. Like they invite you, and you’re happy to be there, but then your over-emotional response either starts to seem sarcastic or ruins the vibes. So the next time two years later when someone dares to try again not only are you ashamed about it but your reaction is twice as bad because of it. Then everyone starts to feel so awkward that they just ghost you. Seems like at some point you should probably just decline to spare everyone the experience.
You guys are making the wrong friends. I have…okay 1 maybe 2 friends that I can make plans with and we can bail on each other with no issues.
I love hanging out with them, but I also love hanging out at home with my cats and sometimes I need to cancel when I’m not feeling it. 1 friend in particular usually is happy with it and sometimes cancels on me before I get to do it. We do hang out on occasion, but fuck we love cancelling plans. It feels so good to realize now you don’t have shit to do today and you can just relax.
That mostly applies to “young introverts”.
Once you have this much white in your beard, you’ll have given up on friendships, and will have acquaintances. Good for small talk, occasional discussions, and the rare outing.
My personal issue, at this point is, that I am having trouble figuring out how and who to bring to concerts. I don’t feel like going there alone, but don’t have acquaintances that i feel i can invite. I did once to a live recording of a podcast about some sports, but it was kind of awkward
I’m sure it depends on the introvert, but I have two really good friends. I find I can hang out with those friends basically without draining my social battery, so they’re my main goto for socializing.
Everyone else takes effort.
For me it takes effort to maintain friends. I’m very good at making them but I don’t really care for keeping them. I’d much rather be by myself
The few people who accept this and done take it personally, are the ones who are closest to me. But it’s not close by any common means
That’s interesting and mostly relatable. After a few months of happy isolation during lockdowns, I realized that I do have some meagre needs for the good society of a friend from time to time.
But yeah not a lot of people are OK with that sort of “out of sight out of mind” type friendship. The people who are you treat like gold, though. Or at least I do, because I actually need them.
I learned that i really like to co to concerts by myself, which is something i could’ve never imagined 10 years ago.
Maybe i should try that one day. Thanks!
Im 31 but I’ve been going to concerts alone for many years at this point. I actually kinda prefer it now. Im just another face in the crowd, I don’t have to try and awkwardly talk to a friend over loud music, and I can just leave whenever I want, etc
If you’re that anti-social why bother with friends at all?
Seems like just you don’t know what you want.
I’m not quite as bad as the post, but emotions are complicated. I like friends, and I like being invited, even if I might not be able to go.
I do want to go out to places, but sometimes the distance, timing, proximity to last event, etc make it too much.
I don’t want to fall out of the list of invitees though, as I will want to go at some point in the future. Sometimes it’s an event that not going to might be a problem otherwise, even if I’m not up to it, but to maintain invites/friendship it’s best to suck it up.
Humans are social animals, no matter how introverted. Sometimes it catches up with you.
(For my mental health, feel free to ignore.)
pov = picture of viewer
…wait, really? is that what we’ve changed it to?
Apparently, since the pov is looking at the introvert, not from him as described.
Pov you just realised pov changed
