I have been the person to say that. Usually because I’m shocked by what someone told me and I feel the need to say something, anything, to break the silence.
I think you can go down the list though.
“You’re strong!”
“Thanks for having the courage to tell me.”
In truth, I’m not a therapist. I don’t have the training to talk to a person sharing their trauma with me. I usually just freeze, like deer in the headlights, and then I worry about how the person who just shared what they did is feeling.
I’ll take it over ghosting. Cuz there’s a ton of cowards who will run to the hills so they don’t have to face your trauma as ‘something that bums them out’. Even family.
So I don’t want to make it harder for them to even talk or think about it by laying out land mines to make them feel shit.
So someone says sorry or anything or even if they want to hangout and we don’t talk about it even is just fine with me.you learn who your real friends are in trauma. Even a sorry is fine from a friend. If Their intentions are trying to figure out how to be around you cuz they care and I wanna help them with that.
Personal gripe is hearing “I’m so sorry” which just reminds me how bad or fucked something is/was, often long after I’ve already made peace with it.
What would you prefer that people say instead?
Not OP but I’m partial to, “Damn, that sucks.”
I have been the person to say that. Usually because I’m shocked by what someone told me and I feel the need to say something, anything, to break the silence.
I think you can go down the list though.
In truth, I’m not a therapist. I don’t have the training to talk to a person sharing their trauma with me. I usually just freeze, like deer in the headlights, and then I worry about how the person who just shared what they did is feeling.
I’ll take it over ghosting. Cuz there’s a ton of cowards who will run to the hills so they don’t have to face your trauma as ‘something that bums them out’. Even family. So I don’t want to make it harder for them to even talk or think about it by laying out land mines to make them feel shit.
So someone says sorry or anything or even if they want to hangout and we don’t talk about it even is just fine with me.you learn who your real friends are in trauma. Even a sorry is fine from a friend. If Their intentions are trying to figure out how to be around you cuz they care and I wanna help them with that.