I don’t like her romantically and want nothing sexual with her either. She acts desperate to talk to me, won’t get into more details.
I could act busy each time she approaches me, and avoid her as much as I can but I don’t know if I should tell my manager about this. I don’t even know what I’d tell a manager: “I’m informing that I want nothing to do with X and I’m going to keep my conversations with her to a minimum”?
Another idea: be boring as f*ck.
Do I tell her friends I don’t like her?
Ideally I could tell her directly I’m not interested / I don’t befriend coworkers (not true but it would work to soften the blow), but I simply don’t know how defensive she’s gonna get, laugh it off or accuse me of playing games.
It might be wise to talk to your boss or HR to have a written record of the situation, and ask they don’t act on it. Just in case the person is one that takes rejection really badly and goes to HR to say you sexually harassed her
Do you think they can be trusted not to take some sort of action that might take the whole situation and process out of OP’s control have a lot of unintended consequences? I feel like one’s plea that they not act upon it has a lot of risk of being overruled, or ‘act’ having some multitude of interpretations. Your suggestion makes some sense in terms of trying to get ahead of thing in case they spiral out of control for some other reason but it could result in these 3rd parties making things so much worse for everyone even if he has no ill will from the outset.
Well that’s the trouble with HR, its a person(s) and they are unpredictable. Thankfully where I’m at the HR is good. I had a situation where a coworker was being toxic. I made a complaint and they handled it discretely and in a way that the source wasn’t needed.
It sounds like your inferring a lot in this. Maybe she’s just kind and has a flirtatious personality. If she’s just being overly nice and you think she’s coming on to you, just don’t reciprocate and live your life until it comes to a head. None of the details you’ve provided are enough for anyone to know your situation well enough to know whether or not she’s into you. It’s very possible she likes your company, conversation, or just enjoys being around you. That’s just normal behaviour for someone that enjoys someone else.
If she’s makes physical advances or makes statements that are inappropriate, then you have something that you can respond to, politely, to defuse the situation and clear the air. Don’t lead her on and be flirty yourself. It’s possible you have an addictive personality that you’re unaware is affecting her.
DO NOT TALK TO HER FRIENDS ABOUT THIS! That is easily one of the dumbest things you can do. How do you think that would play out? I wouldn’t talk to a supervisor for a similar reason. If she starts crossing lines or getting damn close, then have a civil conversation with her.
Just live your life, and cross that bridge when it’s an issue. It more sounds like you’re annoyed by her. If you enjoy her company, then don’t burn that bridge by doing something dumb.
Just talk about other women you are interested in.
Something in writing like “hey, I planning a date on Friday, and I was wondering if you can you cover XYZ?”
If she retaliates, you have a message showing lack of interest
Legit ask her if she’s trying to flirt with you. Act incredulous at the concept, to give her an out and let her save face. If yes, you can politely say you’re flattered but you have a personal policy to never get involved with anyone you work with. If she says no, apologize profusely for the assumption and explain the same policy, hence you’re asking.
If you think she might be the type to chase you anyway, flat out tell her the flirtation is, quote, inappropriate and unprofessional. That should deter any issues and if not it’s an HR issue.
I cannot relate to this problem one bit. sorry.
chuckles in ugly
Raise it with your boss that she is making you feel uncomfortable and you’d prefer conversations were limited to work only. That is exactly how a woman would handle it if a man was being weird, and you have every and equal entitlement to be left alone.
I would tread very carefully. If she just seems interested but doesn’t cross the line into stalking territory, I would do nothing to confront her about it. If she doesn’t take it well and goes to HR as an unrequited love revenge move, you’ll be sitting in unnecessary hot water. You can do everything right and still lose.
Treat her neutrally. If you can send down the office grapevine how you’re interested in this person outside the office, that’s about as aggressive as I would get. Try and keep a physical distance. Discourage physical contact and avoid situations where you’re alone with her.
Tell her this “I feel like you want to tell me something, but you’re not saying it. What is it? Your behavior towards me hasn’t been usual.” If she says she wants to be your girlfriend, just tell her that you’re not interested. If you’re just trying to avoid her, she will keep trying until she succeeds. When she realizes that she won’t have anything with you, she will only feel worse for having wasted her time. It’s better to be direct rather than indifferent.
Telling directly doesn’t hurt
deleted by creator
Removed by mod
Removed by mod
