We have decided some brain quirks are disorders (and get accommodations, as is compassionate), whilst others are flaws (and get slurs). But no one picks their hardware. You cannot earn a better prefrontal cortex or deserve a calmer amygdala. Nor does one get to pick the environment they are born in, which will inform their choices later in life. Even the capacity to “learn better” is a roll of the dice, some brains start the race with sprinting shoes, others with lead weights.
So when we call someone stupid, lazy or insane we are not describing a choice, but simply announcing which kinds of unlucky we’ve decided are worthy of scorn.
Now then, you’re only upset about this because you were programmed to be. Those people calling other aren’t bad for calling someone stupid or lazy if they don’t have free will.
If you assume free will doesn’t exist, evil or good doesn’t either. Murder or curing cancer, it’s like the sun shining, and inavoidable, neutral fact. Of course you may dismiss this as rambling idiocy, but I won’t hold it against a clockwork automaton.