• emptiness@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    26·
    3 days ago

    Very relatable. Velatable.

    I’m adhd and polyamorous and think I’m sorta wired to play a part in a community, giving my loved ones anything they need, willingly and very easily. It doesn’t vibe with modern life. I’m liable to be taken advantage of, end up being lonely and have trouble finding satisfaction in taking care of my own needs and wants.

  • Malica@lemmy.zip
    2·
    2 days ago

    Funny story, kids from abusive backgrounds are usually observed to be “mature for their age and emotionally intelligent”. Neurodivergent kids are more likely to be abused and bullied. They are also much more sensitive and traumatize much more. If you add cptsd into the mix, it’s all kinds of fucked up. In addition, by definition these conditions come with deficient emotional regulation, we have to work 100 times as hard as neurotypicals to regulate, this would naturally give you more emotional intelligence I think and earlier too. As for executive function, we all know how that goes.

  • Arcanepotato@crazypeople.onlineEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    I often get praised for my emotional intelligence and anecdotally at least I think autistic people get dumped on a lot because… Idk? Being AFAB probably isn’t helping my case and I get the barest acquaintances telling me the wildest shit as I just sit there like a deer in headlights.

    Emotional intelligence is a survival mechanism that takes up so much energy to maintain. Even if I had some energy for myself, the only emotions I really recognize in myself are joy and anger(simplification, don’t bother with advice give me advice).

    • Ginny [they/she]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      6·
      2 days ago

      I’m AuDHD and I also struggle with alexithymia, which I think is probably what you’re describing in your last sentence? (Although in my case, I don’t struggle with understanding other people’s feelings, just my own.) But having the ability to listen to other people’s problems attentively, and the ability to communicate your own preferences (if not feelings) plainly without playing games, is enough to put you in the realm of “more emotionally intelligent than most”. And these are things that a certain level of autism tends to promote.

  • bantering@lemmy.zip
    83·
    2 days ago

    I dislike these kind of posts. Every single character flaw I have is not because of my mind, and it is not insurmountable. I feel these are denigrating to one’s own ability to overcome. I am not a helpless victim. I dislike people insinuating that it’s uncontrollable. I am capable of trying at least.

    • Duranie@leminal.space
      11·
      2 days ago

      ADHD symptoms are not “character flaws” and people experiencing it aren’t victims. I’m also not sure why you would think that people don’t try? Would you tell a depressed person they just need to try not being depressed? Maybe they need to try smiling more?

      Not everyone’s brain works exactly the same, and that’s ok. Understanding how your brain works differently and utilizing strategies to lean into strengths and adapt to challenges DO empower people to impact their quality of life.

    • searabbit@piefed.socialEnglish
      91·
      2 days ago

      There’s a study out there that says most ADHD content online is BS. This would definitely qualify. Being a people pleaser is not related to ADHD in the slightest. However, I’d push back on saying you can overcome any personal flaw through one’s own ability. Some people really just need medication to even start being capable of applying any tool they learn in therapy or otherwise.

      • Malica@lemmy.zip
        1·
        2 days ago

        Being a people pleaser is a result of trauma, which neurodivergent people are much more vulnerable to.

    • Malica@lemmy.zip
      1·
      2 days ago

      For me at least, understanding has to come before healthy coping. I’ve also been alone and felt like an outsider all my life, now in middle age I can finally see experiences of people like me. It’s comforting.