With surveys reporting that an increasing number of young men are subscribing to these beliefs, the number of women finding that their partners share the misogynistic views espoused by the likes of Andrew Tate is also on the rise. Research from anti-fascism organisation Hope Not Hate, which polled about 2,000 people across the UK aged 16 to 24, discovered that 41% of young men support Tate versus just 12% of young women.

“Numbers are growing, with wives worried about their husbands and partners becoming radicalised,” says Nigel Bromage, a reformed neo-Nazi who is now the director of Exit Hate Trust, a charity that helps people who want to leave the far right.

“Wives or partners become really worried about the impact on their family, especially those with young children, as they fear they will be influenced by extremism and racism.”

  • perestroika@lemm.ee
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    When I date people, I don’t allow myself to go forward without completing a mutual background check. I ask questions and talk about politics, tell about situations I’ve encountered and listen attentively.

    I want to know about the other person’s world views, decision-making and problem-solving methods - and to inform them about my own. I want to know how they tell apart truth from a lie, what they think about state and centralization, wealth and poverty, science and religion, civil rights and minorities - and to inform them about what I think, so they could make informed decisions.

    Ironically, I don’t wish to know what party they vote for - because the selection is shitty and I laugh about my own past choices. :)

    Recalling situations where world views mismatched - I’ve had to part ways with one person because she was too spiritual. Two people subscribed to odd conspiracy theories. One person’s goals in life warned me about excessive self-interest and lack of care about others.

    P.S.

    Trying to switch perspective and step into the shoes of a woman, I think it can be a warning sign if the other person gives excessive gifts or feels “obligated to take care” - one should inquire about the reason. I would also be wary of people who eagerly accept me as the new centerpoint of their life - it might indicate an obsessive tendency and severe symptoms if the relation should break. If the other person exhibited jealousy about friends or controlling behaviour, that would be a definite warning sign to me.

    P.P.S.

    As for social media, yes, it can corrupt people’s perception of reality. How to pull them out of the bog, no idea. As for how to avoid them getting there: no algorithmically steered social media.

    • aceshigh@lemmy.world
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      I think it’s a good strategy but it’s not fool proof. They’ll tell you what you want to hear and then slowly start pushing your boundaries. Or they’ll pretend to be one way only to get what they want out of you.

  • The_Caretaker@lemm.ee
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    9 hours ago

    My daughter won’t even talk to guys who in any way support Andrew Tate or MAGA influencers. They aren’t incels, they choose to be celibate by openly displaying their hatred for women.

    • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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      All incelularity is self-inflicted. They put up all the barriers. I mean, it’s obvious on the face of it; there is obviously no conspiracy to keep this one guy celibate. If there are factors that are keeping him celibate, they are entirely his own.

      • BillyTheKid@lemmy.ca
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        I’m not trying to defend them, but the lonely guy to incel pipeline is a real thing. They are targeted, propagandized, and monetized. I believe people are responsible for the decisions they make, so I’m not saying they aren’t to blame for that, but I am saying it’s more complex than just that.

      • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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        If there are factors that are keeping him celibate, they are entirely his own.

        Though not entirely, that’s no reason to become an incel, either. No girl got to hop on anyone’s D ever.

    • BillyTheKid@lemmy.ca
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      2 hours ago

      Back in my day when I was living on the street we called them volcels. And by back in my day I mean a few years ago, and by the street I mean discord.

      • Steve Dice@sh.itjust.works
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        The Patriarchy has always been homoerotic. Even society’s choice of male sex symbols, the Hemsworth type, was made by men. Turns out what women actually like is scrawny Koreans.

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          I have a cousin who was really obnoxious and macho. Then he came out of the closet and dropped all that shit. When people can’t be their authentic selves, they tend to lash out in strange ways. Homophobia was drilled into my cousin at a young age so it was really hard for him to accept who he is.

      • The_Caretaker@lemm.ee
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        6 hours ago

        Nothing wrong with being gay, there is something wrong with being repressed. People who can’t be themselves lash out at others. Men with repressed femininity hate women and out gay men for being openly feminine.

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    Occasionally my partner does or says some things that remind me of the “manosphere” aka 4chan neckbeards.

    And when it happens, we talk about it. I don’t pretend or let it go as “he doesn’t mean it” or “he doesn’t know what he’s saying”. I don’t get mad and he doesn’t get mad. We have an adult discussion and I’m careful not to talk down to him.

    A perfect example was that he sometimes says “females” when he means “women”. I explain that it’s not a swear word but it’s still derogatory. I explain why. Once I did, he understood and stopped doing it.

    It doesn’t have to be a big deal! Communication is key!

    • easily3667@lemmus.org
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      As long as you also made sure that if he does say it again he has to pronounce it like tamales

      • w3dd1e@lemm.ee
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        I laughed at this and now I’m going to do that in my head whenever I see that word

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        I think it depends on how often they’re coming up with dubious takes, and how often there are repeats.

        Like if you have to explain that gay people are just trying to live life, and that’s fixing misinformation they got as a youth, fine. Good, even. But if you have that talk and then have to have to again a month later because they “forgot” or picked up more bad ideas? Concerning.

        Friend of a friend was always getting talks to patch up his dicey world view, but then he’d go back to the same YouTube or shitty friends and come back two weeks later with a fresh batch of bad ideas. Really have to get to the root of the problem

      • w3dd1e@lemm.ee
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        I appreciate that he is willing to learn and grow. We all make mistakes. If you understand why it’s offensive and keep doing it, yeah red flag.

        I think the ability to change with new information is admirable.

    • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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      it’s still derogatory

      It logically isn’t. While you think that, and anyone spending their future with you should mind it, it doesn’t make it true.

      • SacralPlexus@lemmy.world
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        Language isn’t always about logic. Discussing things in terms of male/female is fine in many contexts but is often done when discussing science or medical topics. Ex: the male pelvis has a different, narrower shape than the female pelvis. It’s also used in situations where people are deliberately ‘othering’ people. Watch any police bodycam footage and you’ll see that cops frequently say “male/female” when discussing non-police individuals.

        In daily life, most people use men/women for non-scientific discourse. The women’s restroom. A group of men at the restaurant. Etc.

        But here’s the thing. Male/female are used for any species (a male beetle), but man/woman are only used for humans.

        Assholes like Tate push a twist in this dynamic so that men are called men but women are called females because it can be dehumanizing to women. When you say female you could be talking about an insect, but a man is human. It’s a succinct example of their philosophy. That’s why people consider it derogatory.

      • w3dd1e@lemm.ee
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        It is if you say “man” and “female” instead of “male” and “female”. While it can be a noun, it’s mainly used as an adjective to describe sex.

        It’s like saying “A black owns the shop.” Instead of “A black man owns the shop.”

        Notice how calling someone “a black” is kinda icky?

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    It’s surprising to me that married people are falling for this shit. I thought it was just incels desperate for anything that might give them a chance or an excuse.

    • BillyTheKid@lemmy.ca
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      There are actors building influence who benefit by more males being this way. They target ladies too, but in different ways. They are determined and focused.

    • burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world
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      it isn’t about being single, its about the modern hell world instilling extreme helplessness in vulnerable people, and they seek any answers whatsoever. the manosphere happily provides ‘answers’ in exchange for money

      • w3dd1e@lemm.ee
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        It has also seeped into every aspect of male culture. You want to watch a YouTube show about cars? Sure. The first couple episodes are normal and then they start sliding in dumb shit.

        You listen to a podcast about working out? Same thing goes. It’s little stuff here and there. Sometimes it starts as a reoccurring joke, but it keeps happening until they actually believe.

        I also find there are a lot of young people who aren’t comfortable on computers and basically believe whatever they see on the internet, much like an older generation.

        • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          I opened a new YouTube account and watched some videogame videos. Rust if you’re curious. I’m a woman and this game is played by mostly men. At some point my husband was struggling with his mental health, we were in gridlock so I tried to look up male perspective mental health videos to see if i could understand him better or reach him in a new way.

          Those two searches alone, unlocked a flood of bullshit into my feed. I couldnt believe the garbage I was bombarded with.

          It is akin to how women are pummeled with beauty ads and standards (buy this to be pretty!) since we are young.

          They figured out how to market this same insecurity to men. Wild stuff

          Edit: except they aren’t just selling “self care” like they do to us, they’re selling hate-

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          There are people at my work place that I thought that I got along with and then all of a sudden they come out with the most bigoted things that I have ever heard. I straight up do not trust any man my age at this point there are just too many of them that are “hiding their powerlevel”

        • mineralfellow@lemmy.world
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          Yeah, I was enjoying some videos about dumb Steven Seagal movies, but then I realized that every single one would have jokes about women being bad drivers, being overly emotional, etc. At first I took it as a humorous way to look at Seagal’s misogyny, but then it became apparent that it was being applied in other cases where it didn’t make sense. It was subtle, in the context of the rest of the videos, but a definitely present part was the manosphere mentality.

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    12% of young women support Tate? That’s way higher than what I expected :( I can’t understand why would any woman support someone who makes a fortune out of exploiting women openly

    • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      These would be the “pick me’s” whether they realize it or not

      Women who are raised by misogynists but can’t see past it. Women who have insecurities and can’t see past it. They are latching on to the same order for security cuz it’s all they know. Just a guess

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      Almost every survey will get 6-10% of people answering yes to the most extreme or batshit crazy option, no matter what.

      Probably the main reason is that people are pissed off that they are being approached by survey takers and punish the survey for revenge.

      And there are some batshit crazy people out there.

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      13 hours ago

      Tradwife content is on the rise for women as well, more and more young people are buying into this mythical simpler past as the world gets more complex, alienating and difficult.

      • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
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        mythical simple past but they wouldn’t put down the fucking phone. anything but the phone!!

        (regardless of gender)

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        I can understand that but how come being a webcam girl and endure physical and psychological abuse fit in the “tradwife” narrative? It’s particularly support for Tate what I can’t understand

        • Saleh@feddit.org
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          I think this is ambigous. When people are asked “do you support the views of Andrew Tate?” How many actually know these in particular? What if individual views are asked and then if more than 50% are answered with “support” it is considered to support his views overall?

          I’ve read enough news to know that Tate is a terrible person and probably a serious criminal. But i would not be able to describe his views, nor do i want to find out what his views are exactly.

            • Saleh@feddit.org
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              7 hours ago

              I looked at the one for mysoginy

              One in four of the young people who have heard of Tate have a favourable opinion of him, but there is a clear gender divide: only 12% of female respondents have a positive view, compared to 41% of young men.

              We asked young people what they liked about Tate. The top three reasons overall are: “He’s not afraid to push back against ‘woke’ ideology” (24%), “He wants men to be real men” (22%) and “He tells it how it is” (20%). Although it is commonly thought that Tate’s opulent lifestyle, cars and fitness are an entrypoint through which young people become interested in his content, admiration for lifestyle (14%) and humour (11%) do not rank as highly. This suggests that the main pull of Andrew Tate for young people is his hateful activism.

              That said, younger Tate supporters aged 16-17 and female respondents are more likely to admire his lifestyle, at 20% and 18% respectively. Putting Tate’s motivational and fitness content within a wider context of his divisiveness and hatefulness, as well as signposting other figures who produce similar lifestyle content without the underlying misogyny, could be an important step in combating his influence on younger, female audiences.

              I think the source provides a nuanced picture and offer suggestions how to combat his influence that got lost in the short notion in the guardian article.

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                The raw numbers maybe obscure this but aren’t the popularity levels are really about how far along the radicalisation they are?

                People start watching for the lifestyle and fitness then end up believing the other stuff and watching for that. I guess women stall out more because who could believe that kind of stuff about themselves?

          • Mothra@mander.xyz
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            9 hours ago

            Fair enough, so there is a possibility that this article (or the surveys it’s based on) are being somewhat misleading. I hope you are right

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    “Do you regularly watch videos by Jordan Peterson?” kinda needs to become one of those before-first-date screening questions.

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    I literally just blocked an NSFW lemmit of misogynygonewild and it blew my mind it was even a thing. Fucking trash.

    • null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Yeah I don’t really understand this claim.

      My partner and I disagree on a lot of things, but I can predict with near certainty where she stands on things because she my partner, we have shared a life together, and I know her.

    • blakenong@lemmings.world
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      Yeah, they just didn’t pay attention to their partner. Which, not making excuses, is a good part of how they slip there.

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    You want a trad wife? Get your sorry ass to work buying her cars, clothes, houses, furnishings so she can focus on making your home. Kids in private school, high class vacations, all of it.

    Provider is a title that is earned and I doubt even a thousandth of these blowholes are up to the task of being a trad husband.

    • Lyrl@lemm.ee
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      As long as it’s mutually wanted. One of the women interviewed for the article started building her career later in the marriage, and cites her husband’s anger at her increasing independence as a major factor in their divorce.

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      Not in that economy, no. That you can’t afford a family with a single income anymore is one of the forces that lead to changing role models. Not that i think it’s a bad thing.

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      Thank you, I’d rather be a trophy husband than support a tradwife

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        A lifetime of experience has taught me the fastest way to poke through someone’s hubris is to take their bullshit deadly seriously.